Life's a Beach so Take Off Your Pants and Run.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Why did I screamed at him on MSN.
Why did I said I'm tired.
Why I blame him.

He asked why Im getting sentimentil.

I dont know.

I really dont.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Star Struck

Everyone wants to be a star.

Yesterday I chatted with my friend, Audilia. It's been almost 2 weeks with her absence to Canada, and it felt really nice to talk with her again, especially with webcams (a totally picturesque moment!). We talked and talked and do stupid things when suddenly she went and took her new shiny magazine.

It's funny when you think about it, too see our lives being corrupted by those thick shiny pages with beautiful pictures all over it. We have made them as our boundary. We want to be accepted, to feel belong in the society, and to get that, we have to look, say, smell, even eat what they're telling us to.

Some say beauty ends within the front covers. Is it?

Not that I could think of. For me, it's more like beauty starts from the front covers. Eventhough one might say that they dont give a damn about fame, you can tell them that's world's biggest bullshit. No one hates fame; the luxurious lives, to be in the spotlight, to be treated like royals, to be the VIPs, to get backstage pass, even in their deepest, darkest desires.

It all seems so beautiful from where we stand, everything seemed to be wrapped in luminous soft sparkling plastic, and that's what attracted us so much. It's only human nature to longed for something newer, more luminous, just like the saying "the grass next door look greener than mine".

You didnt do anything wrong justby adoring them, but once in a while, try to feel them. They're just, however, plastic. Cold, hard, shiny plastic. You, in the other hand, are real. You are you. Once in a while, try looking at your image in the mirror. You'll be surprised with what you might see. A star.

quatable quotes

"I think everyone should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so that they can see that it's not the answer." -Jim Carrey

"Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress" -Liz Smith

" No good movie is long enough and no bad movie is short enough." -Roger Ebert

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

windy afternoon

Last night I re-read my previous posts, from the first, to the last ones. It's both funny and startling, seeing how my writing style changed from my very first entry till now. I noticed how childish they were. It makes me laugh and ashamed reading them. They were so... Not me. Me now I mean.

It's surprising how fast time rolls. It seemed like yesterday when I created my blog in the Computer Lab 3 during Computer Period. It was a year ago.

I admit I do miss those days. When me, Nadia, Audi, Marissa, and Ogre wander around in our new school, skipping and late for classes, getting detentions and scoldings. Now it seems so far away, with all of us getting different classes, and all those assessments and assignments..

For me, time is like wind. They breezed passed you, caressing your skin and soul, and it's gone in a blink of an eye. When you're closing your eyes, savouring it, it seemed like everything is.. Perfect. But once you open your eyes, you're left alone. You tried to look back, and nothing is left there. Just you, once again pushed infront, leaving everything behind, no matter how much you thrive to stop.

Those were the days. They are.. Perfect.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

congrats!

Here's to Gaston at Jakarta who has just started reading novels:

Welcome to world of literature! A journey beyond your dreams, guaranteed.

-DeniQa.

Monday, June 26, 2006

my weekend with the 3year old

His name is Julian. He'll be 3 next month. He came by yesterday, from 17:00 till 01:00 it the morning. We mostly play with my dolls, and also my brother's Chicken Little and Homer Simpson and Bart Simpson.

Yes, there were some teasing going on (we couldn't help it!), and Julian react like any adorable 3year old would do.

"Julian, your pants are coming down!"

(Julian pulling up his pants with one fat hand and stubby fingers while the other thrive to hold Homer)

"Already?"
"No! Stand up first and pull it up!"

(Julian stands up and pull his pants up with one hand still holds on to Homer)

"Already?"
"Okay."
"Can I sit down now?"

*moment of laughter*

Saturday, June 24, 2006

fat horse

Here it is, the newest addition to my collection of artificial stuffed animals. His name is... Fatsy (for he is a horse and fat)?

He's soft and tender, and FAT! His tummy is literally three times his head. And look at those legs! HAHAHAHA. He makes me wanna laugh everytime I sees his face. And also wanna cuddle him in my arms as well.

Speaking of fat.. Yesterday I exercised in Celebrity Fitness Puri Mall, and had a fat-test. And by golly, my body consist of 32% FAT, which is considered as 'FAIRLY POOR'! Woaa. What have I been doing?

And after some talk with Leo the Celebrity guy (I dont know his title), I decided to take a 1 month 'Yoga' class for Rp. 297,000,- because my brother's member will be trasferred to me next month and if i dont buy this 'Yoga' class NOW, then I will have to pay Rp. 720,000/month as there'll be a price raise next month.

And about my fitness experience.. It was GREAT. I had tons of fun. I never knew that exercising can be fun! There were a lot of strange and interesting machines that I have never seen before, and they're FUN. I love exercising there, the atmosphere gives us energy to exercise more and moooore.

Furthermore, I will start to take body pump next month, which is a programme to make people FATTER. Yes yes yes! FATTER! I start next month.

Dad was like startled and thrilled that I volunteered to join this program. He fully support it and he asked me to give full commitment in this. Hahaha. Sure dad. Will do.

By the way, my sister is here! And she is.. fatter (according to dad and herself). Uah I want to be fatter! Next month, baby.

Friday, June 23, 2006

answer answer answer

Just yesterday I prayed, asking Him whether my choice is the best. And today, this afternoon after I exercised at Celebrity Fitness Puri Mall, I found a Designer magazine, education edition.

They reviewed on Singapore's leading art universities, and Raffles was one of them. Is it.. Somehow.. A sign?

Please say yes. Because I bought the magazine for that. Rp. 79,000,- total. Please make it worth it God. If so, Singapore here I come.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

If there's a will then there's a way.

Ms. Sheeba, Physics Yr 10.

art art art

Oh God help me.

After months and months and months of serious thinking, considering MANY aspects, mayb, just mayb, I'll go to Raffless Design Institute in Singapore.

I dont want to go too far from my parents, seeing that they're no longer that young. And also the fees, mayb Raffles is the cheapest since the program im taking takes only 3years, than what I considered earlier, Lassale-Sia College of Art.

And the cost of living.. I guess it'll be cheaper than taking business in Erasmus (Europe) or the Academy of Art (San Fransisco).

Ahh. The choice one has to make for the future.

Please tell me im doing the right thing.

partner

It has only been 2 days since Audilia left for her trip around the globe (slightly exagerating) and already I missed her presence. Her stupid fears. Her nagging. Her freakiness (for sure).

I missed my partner. Partner in ART. Detentions. Lates. KEBODOHANS. Narcism. Adobe. Design. Shopping. Photography. Caught up in stupid confrontations with Mr Mark Roberts. Design. Dreams. Same taste in T-Shirts. Okay, I guess I would have to stop now for the list will continue forever if I keep going.

One thing I can say I missed by her absence is that she was the only one that shares the same passion as I do. ART.

Now I cant just simply get behind the wheel and fetch her to Puri Mall just to wander around because we're fcking bored at home.

Days till she comes back: 3whole weeks.

rindu temans

One thing I missed when in Nadia's absence is our weekly Starbucks breaks. Yes, and also our monthly Weekend movies where we, as both are holders of BCA side cards, can get 2 tickets for the price of 1 to watch high quality movies. Lol.

Now that she's away, who's gonna accompany me to roam Jakarta when Im completely bored (like right now)?

She, as driver to her own nissan Terrano, used to wander in malls with me, testing cakes cakes cakes and desserts. Bakerz Inn, Starbucks, Secret Recipes, Sushi Tei, Midori.

I missed her.

3weeks before she's back.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

choices oh choices

Sometimes I feel like im drunk behind the wheel, the wheel of posibilities.

I hate it the most when being confronted by choices. The urge to make the best decision, and ironocally, the lack of resources to make that decision.

I'm graduating next year, and I still dont know whether to take Business Management or Graphic Design.

So many choices. So many subjects. So many countries. So many universities. One me.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

play time

I baked some cookies today. It's called Sugar Cookies, and it's great. Yelowish cookies with white and tender milk vanilla icing, and some colourful rainbow sprinkles on top of it. the shapes varies from hearts to circles to flowers to stars to moons to birds, even fungus (mushrooms) for AUDILIA the FUNGUS. lol.

The taste? it's hard and crispy on the outside, but tender and juicy in the inside. Sweet sugary cookies topped with milky cream. Yum.

The inputs, the dough itself. Don't they look puny and adorable?

The process. Can you see they're getting shapes? <3

The after-bake and before-icing stage.

My precious. The outputs of my patience and hard work <3.

Yes, there are too some unfortunate events.

Developing range of flavours, cream, blueberry, and original.

Monday, June 19, 2006

bye

He's leaving. Right now. 20:30pm.
Texted him.
He called.
Misscalled.

An attempt to make my entrapment seems like a holiday.

jakarta, a thing of beauty?

Shot this beauty at during my SDD fieldtrip in Puncak. Looking at this makes me think that Indonesia's not that bad (and not that great).

We still got wonderful sceneries (Bali Bali Bali, mayb Puncak as well), great spas (went to Kenko spa at Puri Indah mall yesterday), great shopping centres (Zara Zara Zara Plaza Indonesia EX Plaza Senayan), great streets (nothing beats Thamrin at night), great solitude (Starbucks Puri Indah mall), and most of all, I have my family and friends in Jakarta, eventhough most of them left me to rot here.

Seeing from my daily routine, it seemed to me that my life simply rotated around Puri. Cant you tell? Okay, I admit that whay I'm doing here is simply an act to make my holiday less pathetic (I'm stuck here! Help!), but hey, its worth a try dont you think? Even my Australian teachers prefer to work here instead of working in their home coutries (ratio: 1 to 4).

GOD I NEED A HOLIDAY AWAY FROM HERE.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Nadia's leaving for Bali today. Ogre's leaving for Australia today. Everyone's going for their holiday, without me. I'm left alone here. With Starbucks as my only consolation. God I missed traveling. So bad.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

worst ad

This prove that money cant buy all. Even a powerful man like Lieberman cant seem to create an ad that will atually helps him win. Click on the link to watch the ad.

needy

Can you recall the last time you made someone happy? Sad? Or mad?
Can you recall the last time you smile and greet someone sincerely? Help them?

Sometimes we tend to see things from the larger picture, which is good, occasionally. But sometimes, try to focuss on small details as well cause they are the ones who made our lives interesting. It kept us from being locked in rigid routine. It made yesterday different from today and tomorrow.

Yesterday, my Business teacher told me that she (and Mr Jacob, her fiance), are concerned about the Year 11 students. It seems to them that we (Yr 11ers) dont have any goals, or even motivation to drive us forward.

She said that we often take things for granted, such as going to prestigous school, having 'more' than some people have, living in good home, with a good family. And yet, we still need more.

Well, for the needing more part, I guess it's human nature to feel like that, for we tend to look up and never look down. For once, try to look under your feet if you have the chance. You'll be grateful of it, for the chance may come only once. A chance for you to redo your life, to break out of your cocoon into the real world.

Set your goals in your life, what do you want to achieve in your life, moreover, what are you meant to do in your life. Big things consist of thousands small things. Make your first move, second move, slowly, and steadily. And don't forget to look back occasionally, on what you have achieved. You'll be surprised how small puny unimportant details might do.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

sad

Mr Jacob's leaving.

Today was my last Economics lesson with him. My teacher, counsellor, and my friend. I'll miss you. Teribbly.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006

Its that event everyone was talking about, the World Cup. It seems to me that every where I go, some where, some when, some how, everyone was so excited about it. I heard buzzes of excitement in every classes im in. Even in Economy class, Mr Jacob seems like he preffered to discuss about it than discuss Economics.

For me, I would definitely go for England! I fully support England, body and soul. England, a country to be loved. Beckham, Owen, Joe Cole, and all the glamorous lives they lead. Gee, I hope that I would have a chance to visit England in this life.

I always thought that I would prefer to settle in suburb than downtown. Now I dont know. England is more like my type of coutry, with castles around, Topshops, farms, Internet, so on and so forth.

England also gave birth to the most brilliant writers the world have ever read. Take Jane Austen and Charles Dickens. They have contributed a lot to the world of literature, they are the pioneers of the era of classic literature. Once again, England, a country to be loved.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

SDD funtrip

As i told you before, we had a so called field trip to Puncak last weekend. It was great. There were total of 11 people coming, 10 SDDers, and our 'loud' SDD teacher, Ms Yuli. We divided the group into 2, one who goes up early, and my group, the one who arrived fashionably late (around 9:00 pm) =p, 4 hours late from the initial schedule. There, the first thing we did was to prepare dinner. Everyone work hand to hand. Some were grilling the corns, some went to find some margarine, and some (including me) were involved in frying the mashed potato and sausages (oh, and the pineaples.).

Then, we peacefully eat our handmade dinner on the terrace, with light night breeze carefully swept our tiredness from all the cooking we've done earlier. We talked and talked and ate, with vague jokes being passed around occasionally.

As the weather grew cooler, we decided to go inside, where we played cards till dawn. Some fell asleep when we're playing cards, leaving only 5 survivors by midnight, me, nadia, david, steven, and michael. We chatted, played cards, everything was in peace when something happened. Ms Yuli woke up. Gosh, the shock! We literally jumped off our feet when we saw a small round figure approaching from the basement. No offense. lol.

She claimed that she's in the mood for making breakfast, and so I helped her mixing the ingridients (we decided to make pancakes), and left her to fry it because she said she couldnt trust me with her breakfast (i can see that she's hungry).

At that time, my eyes were so heavy from all the activities that it hurts. I felt a twinge on my eyes as i headed to the couch to get a short nap when the corner of my eyes caught something I've never seen before. Sunrise. It was so beautiful, andIi called for nadia, and went outside to get better look.

By golly, I was literally speechless. Breathless. The cold air was killing me, but the sight.. Oh the sight was worth it. I can smell the water vapor in the air, and they were the freshest air i have ever inhaled into my lungs for years. It was beautiful, almost perfect, until someone followed us out and ruined my day.

However, after that, I managed to steal 2 hours to rest my eyes, then someone woke me up and Ms Yuli ordered me to start cooking the nuggets. Uah. Well, at least she gave me time to had my morning bath before torturing me. lol.

Nadia was told to cook the noodles,and i spent probably an hour cooking endless nuggets.They were delicious by the way. Lol. After that, we made our way to Kota Bunga, again divided into 2 groups, just to find that the other group had abandoned us there.

And so my group made a quick response. We're staying. We headed to Puncak Resort for lunch, where we played like small children in the playground. Well, after that, we decided to make our way down, because it's getting late and we knew the traffic that we will encounter if we stay longer than that.

The journey was ok. we played pancasila lima dasar, with "brand names" as our topic (can this caused by my trip to IMAGO last Saturday?). it was thrilling. we fell asleep half an hour later, dreaming, and smiling. Gee, who can guess that SDD too can be fun when it comes to field trips?

Monday, June 12, 2006

dear diary

I used to condiser myself as a victim. and today, i learnt that im the villain. I agree that its shocking, sad, beautiful, and above all, ironic. It seems to me at first as a bucket of cold water being thrown at my face. Im speechless. Breathless. But as the water goes down, i can see the picture clearer than before.

I used to think that my friends never tell me anything, and i used to get pissed because of that. God, i was wrong. I thought that i dont belong with them. and once again, i was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Im a selfish bitch. without realizing, i blame others for my mistakes.

I get angry when no one reaches out for me, but the truth is... They are... I just cant see through the wall.

But today, i guess parts of the walls have been bombarded by the bucket of water. And Im grateful of it. I've spent the last 16 years dramatizing my life. For what? For endless misery, I think.

Maybe what you see is not what it is. Your mind is a dangerous place, you may see what you're thinking in your mind, eventhough it's not the reality. I've been there, done that. Thankfully, I have my friends to watch me. To keep me away from my mind. Thanks is just the words im looking for you guys. And sorry i guess.

creativity

"if creativity is about bending the rules,
how would you bend the rules
if you don't even know it?"

-IMAGO School of Modern Advertising

Friday, June 09, 2006

a long long ride

im leaving for Puncak tomorrow. will wake at approximately 07:00 am to attend an advertising workshop at IMAGO School of Modern Advertising in Dharmawangsa Square till 04:00 pm, when i will be fetched to directly go to Puncak by my SDD guys, rest a little, and have fun go mad during BBQ night. there will be 12 people joining this event, 10 SDD students, 1 non-SDD student, and Ms Yuli as our beloved (??) teacher. im so up for a horse-ride there!! and above all, this trip will be the first SDD field trip (with no interuption from the school whatsoever) where we will carefully and diligently study Pseudocode, Algorythm, Flow Chart in the middle of a tea plantation, with cold breeze playing with our hairs, and green grass tickling our skins. yeah right. let's see what we will have tomorrow, whatever it is, i have faith that it will be bruised skin (chasing each other in empty fields), black eyes (lack of sleep), and six pack abs (laughing 24hours). so much for a so-called SDD field trip.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

memoriables

seeing this picture brought a sudden memory into my head. memory of my childhood that most have been swept by time. this picture reminded me of my childhood days where me and my siblings used to play altogether in our small terrace, sometimes accompanied by mba nah's sweet, cold, and tender homemade desserts. i remembered that there were some evenings when we heard wall's subtle theme song from afar, and were quickly filled with sudden and rushing excitement. during this stage, we would find the telephone ringing out of the sudden, with dad on the other line, asking us to go down to pick some ice creams, his treat. ah, those were the days. we may have lived through them, but it will forever carved into our heart, waiting in solitude until some unpredictables brought them to life once again.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

vexation

im bored mad bored mad bored and fckd up.
im in sdd class.
feeling irky.
grhh.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

will you be my shoulder, when im grey and older, promise me tomorrow starts with you, getting high. -James Blunt, High.

Monday, June 05, 2006

why do each and every person living in this planet has a boundary of themselves?boundary is a relative subject, meaning that it won't be the same in everyone. today i have 2 periods of Computer Studies, and surprise surprise, Sr. Marcello gave us a FULL FREE PERIOD, which we spent accurately by discussing art art and art. Marcello showed us a whole range of TREMENDOUSLY INCREDIBLE websites that made us (well, maybe only me) feel slightly intimidated. Gee, they're all.. perfect. how can i create something that great is beyond measure. this event made me to doubt my thought of taking art as my subject in university. i remember once there's a guy that told me that destiny sometimes lead us to places when we never even heard, seen, or thought, but sometimes your palm has the power to change it. with them, you can write anything, even your own destiny. this guy in the picture seems to be happy just because a girl asked him to pose for a picture after a little chat. for him, his boundary was simply the reality that he must ended up as a sole-maker because of his lack of education. so once again, what is being measured by boundaries? i doubt no one can answer it, and they might never will.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

starbucks sunday break. my life is beautiful. j j j j j j j j .

what a beautiful life. if only i can meet him everyday, every assignments given to me will seem smaller than a piece of cake. huhm, how great love can be.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

glorious moment. when i entered Starbucks Puri Indah this afternoon, i know that i've found my salvation. i love the sensation when your fingers first hit the cold plastic glass, which send the chill throughout your entire body. moreover, when you first have your first seep after 3 WHOLE WEEKS of fasting this precious chocolatey liquid, brings a sense of warmth and familiarity into your mind, and brings you back to life.i found Starbucks Puri Indah, especially, as my temple of solitude. my cocoon, and i love the sense of secure that it brought me. caramel machiato, my drink, my life.

Friday, June 02, 2006

love comes like eyes in the water -Kings of Convinience.

it's raining here. droplets of water started to come down and make a small splash as they hit the ground one by one. and im sitting here in agony, my feelings clearly shown by the color of the raining sky, geryish with a little white clouds.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

i've been watching your world from afar. i've been trying to bew here you are. i've been secretly falling apart. i've seen. you've been so perfect to me but you just seem to turn every head but you dont see me. -aqualung, i'll put a spell on you.

bingung

kenapa ya ada beberapa orang yang suka tiba2 berubah 180derajat, from an angel to the most annoying person on Earth?