Life's a Beach so Take Off Your Pants and Run.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Week After

It's been a week since school stopped. And my body aches to go back. Having my house behind the school granted me the privilege of passing it everytime Im heading somewhere.

However I wondered. Do I longed to go back to that education institution for the sole purpose of studying behind piles of books, or is it just because I missed my friends who are scattered all over the universe at this very moment?

Perhaps it's more honest to say that my longing are based 75% of the second reason to the first one. How sad.

Currently repeating this tune again and again:

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dont why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers anyour t-shirt

-Lily Allen, Littlest Thing

I miss having someone to love. They say the greatest gift in your life is to love and be loved back in return. How do I find those gifts if they're wrapped so beautifully in gleaming stores, which Im not allowed to enter due to my shabby clothes.

It's the holiday season influencing me.

Is it?

Im just grateful of being able to spend Christmas with my family yesterday. You know, If Im the philosopher who wrote that phrase ("the greatest gift in your life is to love and be loved back in return"), maybe I would rephrase it a bit.

The greatest gift in your life is to be able to be grateful for what's in your hands.
-Denica Riadini 2006.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

O Holy Night

As pathetic as it may sound, Im literally spending my once-a-year Christmas Eve infront of my computer. And Im not exactly proud of it. At all.

Spent today wandering Jakarta with my family. Had our meal (breakfast + lunch since we woke up late) at Warung Daun South Jakarta, continued to a journey to the magical world of bed and bath in Sogo Plaza Senayan, bought bath needs (and an adorable pink fluffy slipper for my Christmas redemption).

Then out of the blue, Dad insist that we attend the 5 o'clock service at Stella Maris. And all I could think about is this: "Damn I shouldnt wore this short". Well, eventually we went to the Gloria Acelia (longggg story), and there we are, late as always, sitting nicely for outdoor service, and was mortified by the abundant amount of bugs! And those looks. Some of the idealist (desperate) housewives who saw my shorts would thought I missed the disco for church or something.

Well, what the ho. I know I wasnt exactly presentable for church, but it's the spirit that matters, right? Yay I feel better!

Looking right and left and behind (Not infront. Guess you would know the answer why), at least this house represent some Christmas spirit. Or not. I can see Dad's Christmas light which he put this afternoon twinkling red-yellow and blue-green. Twinkling continually, lighting my grim heart, coloring my heart of the event. It's beautiful really, somehow reminds me of my last Christmas Eve (wandering off Orchard Road, covered in paste and fake snow). Deep down inside, Im trully am a Singaporean.

Really want to post some in-house Christmas beauties, but again, NO CAMERA. That's it, too many events are being missed out from this problem (too demanding camera). IM SAVING FOR EOS 400D. You'll see next year.

Hopefully.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Partners

They say friendship came from the most unusual places. Sometimes from 2 young girls who went to the same Christian school, loathe each other at first, and became inseparable partners by the second year.

First glance, we hate each other's guts. Second glance we became GJ Zooers. Third glance we became PPGs. Fourth glance we became classmates. Then we became partners.

Bullshits are simply inadequate to tell what we share in common. Perhaps the best way to say this is by reading what we testimony about each other in a non-commercial connection website.

D's testimony from A:

"d eni ca is my sweetest friend. dont cha?hahaha. she is a bit emotional girl who can feel guilty and angry at the same tym. she is a strong powerful adolescent girl who dislike underestimated by everybody. she has a strong will when she want a something. except mathematic and science. she is very good at writing i love SO MUCH her style of writing, unique and dedicated. mayb she was born to be a writer but she never regret it at all.

lots of wishes . this . that. those. these. same lyk me nah? . one thing that i love from her . SHE CAN BE HERSELF WITHOUT BE FUCKING PARIS HILTON WANNABE. if i had a mirror of myself mayb it show lyk urs. we had born with the same zodiaq. outgoing.stubborn.dedicated.easygoing. if she is so i am. it really hard to say that im kinda a bit jealous because she has lot of sisters and bros not just lyk me. she has stupid and sweet face. so i do ENJOY being -her-very-instant-friend-to-picked-up-to-go-to-any-where. ahiahiahia .

anyahaha. oh ya i always remember her messiness. her lateness. her fuckiness. her bastardness. hahaha denica is also quite spoilttt... soo change girlll. groww upp!!. . . tuk tuk tuk. i hv sooo many ideas but i wont tell them all in here. kinda stupid . fs sucks. byk basa basi la yaoke cya my partner in crime. i hope c ya on the next detention. study hard ok!then maybe im fucking SHOCK when i know you are a lawyer on the next 10 years. just i said. "HAHAHA"

VIVA PPG. "

A'S testimony from D:

"au di lia is my caramel machiato. sweet most of the time, bitter when she meant it. she's the best partner i have ever had so far. i could never believe how much factors which we had in common. so much that i tend to forget you're for real. i remembered that once she dreamt in becoming a dentist as an act of revenge to her dentist. she was so plain then, i didnt know her so well. now, after her ups and downs, i can say it's quite a pleasure to be able to be in the same class with you to watch that take place and to deal it with you.

audilia's a girl's girl. she can fill you with an unbelivable amount of gossips in one glance. she's dedicated in almost all of her study field. she's a real hard working girl, and often caught day dreaming and passing notes with someone we know during English. this, to be honest, has caused her a bit of a trouble with her homeroom.you know, if in 10 years time i would see you as a dentist/designer/scientist, i would pat you and say "well done".

i cant believe we wont be in the same class once we come back to school."

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

WTF

So here's the deal.

I have a friend. A supposedly solid friend, which has been nagging all month that we (PPGs) have to go somewhere due to the fact that it has been months since we went out together. Yesterday we promised to go to EX and watch Eragon, and you know, when I confirmed her back, she said that she dont think she's able to make it since she's having piano lesson in the afternoon. Fine, I went to Starbucks Tebet with I t o and A u d i instead.

In the middle of my enjoyment of he live jazz music, she SMSed me, asked where was I, and how PPG always said that we'll go somewhere and voila, we're simply not going. And there was I, so foolish indeed to feelt guilty of going without her.

And today, A ud ili a had proposed that we'll go and enjoy the evening with our witty IPEKA alumnis at Boulevard Green Garden. I know that it's pretty late, but what the hell. Despite my curfew, I drove there instead for the sake of spending time together. And you know what? After my sacrifice, do you know what I found out?

She's dating with her soon-to-be-bf at Plaza Senayan.

Bang.

There I have it. My mind was filled with anger and rage as soon as I heard Audi updated me with this fact. My blood was racing, my adrenaline rushing, and my heart burning. For the sake of decency and cencorship, I would not say here what I thought of her earlier.

Then I called her from the car. I asked what the fuck was going on. And she innocently declare that she cant go home since her mom's not home yet. AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING RELATION WITH WHAT I ASKED?

I shut off the connection, my feet pedalling the gas with rage. You said in your Friendster profile that you dont want to meet a hypocrite. Well, have you look at your reflection in the mirror lately?

My night is ruined.

Sweet 17ths

Why is it do girls celebrate only their 17th birthday as if their lives depends on it? Is it a celebration of maturity, the age when you are legally considered as adults, or is it simply a mindset that you have to celebrate it?

Why is it do boys dont celebrate their 17ths? I mean, they also get their IDs at 17. What make it so much different?

If there's sweet 17, shouldnt be a Bitter 16th? Or Sour 19th? Or even Plain 20th?

It's not as if Im complaining. Sweet 17ths are a social event most adored by adolescences, a chance to show off once in a lifetime, to be the bitchiest person in the world but being forgiven cause it's your night. However, I really think it really isnt a legitimate excuse to throw abundant amount of your parent's money to satisfy other. I do admit enjoy receiving those party invitations, but keep it simple and humble baby.

Question: Does the cost outlived the benefit?

Friday, December 15, 2006

Good Morning

It's 12 minutes past Friday, which concurrently provide an explanation on my rumbling stomach, begging for food. Today's the promised last day of school, which I spent roughly with a Toffee Nut Latte in hand and a slipper on foot.

Right after then we had Student Council farewell by eating at Hanamasa Puri Indah Mall. Ashamed as it is, that was the first time I set my feet in that all-you-can-eat restaurant. It's a real treat to see my tablemates (Me, Audi, Alice, and Nadia) share duties in cooking Shabu-Shabu and Yakiniku. We cooked, laughed, ate, and teased other's eating habits, such as:

1. I took a couple of Rambutans to our table for dessert. Then, I asked for a knife to open it, good ask? Wrong guess. The maid looked at me in confusion, and nothing could compare to how my friends teased me after that. In conclusion, you simply dont open a fresh Rambutan with a knife, you pushed it hard to break the thick hairy skin.

2. Audi was attempting to chop a piece of grilled fish when one, half, of her chopstick flew across the table, almost blinding Nadia in fraction of seconds. Her blank look throw the laughter on for minutes.

3. Alice and I took some Mixed Ice to satisfy our hungry eyes (they were so beautiful, all pinky and sweet), and when we tried a spoonful, bye-bye Mixed Ice. They suck. And guilt haunted us when we took notice at a brochure on the other side of our table: "All food that we serve is a blessing from GOD, please do not waste it". What a perfect appetite closure.

And now here we are once again, infront of the digital world which empowered globalization. Chatted to some of my colleagues, preparing to leave this country, some for their holiday, and some forever. Paulina is leaving for America in 2 days for a whole month holiday. Another was leaving in 8 hours to Singapore for a cruise. Others are just leaving behind memories of good times spent together.

I cant believe Im saying this, but I miss my school. After referring it as a "living hell" to my Economic teacher. Brilliant maneuvre.

Welcoming my first 30 minutes of Christmas holiday with less enthusiastic than I thought.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Just asking

It's the time again. The time to listen.

It's both intriguing and strange to see how different people react to my curiosity. It's funny to find how people thought that my curiosity was based on trick questions. Maybe it's just us, our ego got in the way that we react without a cause. After all, we are merely human.

Question: Just how much do you think those so called experts and marketers have changed the way we live our lives? Heal my curiosity. Feed me back.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Fate and Fiction

Sometimes I stopped to think. Is it possible that while Im walking, Im passing someone Im bound to know? Someone destined to love, someone prophesied to help. And most of the times Im scared of not being able to stretch my hand to my fate. And the more propeling thought is that Im not sure I believe in fate.

They say the world is not enough. Why? Is it because our lies eventually came into the surface, acknowledged by strangers? Is it the guilt that triggered us to came up with such fiction, fiction that became civil law among our little hearts? And I admit that I know nothing to answer these. But I do know that the world is not too small after all.

Sometimes late night I love to lose myself in my thoughts, observing quietly of my own little world. A week earlier when I came to collect my sister's arrival from Melbourne, I noticed how love is squandered in the air. Every passengers who came out from the arrival gate was sullen, probably due to the delayed flight, and I noticed how those lips curled up, with twinkling eyes running toward their dearly beloved who like I was, came to welcome them back.

Funny how GOD works. Sometimes He shaked His Christmas crystal ball, raining snows on the Snowman. And we are the Snowman. Rained upon, we frowned and object, for we human by nature are afraid of changes. We tried to bargain our way back, but snow had already started.

Im soaked, and I dont want to change. Even if I know it's for the better.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Sometimes you see them near you. Those who the society refer to as the 'beautiful' people. Those who according to Janis Ian, win in this life. And I thought that happens in movies only.

For years I befriended one. Those who get everything I have ever dreamt of. Those who without even trying, got everything squandered without sweat. And here I stand. Striving to get a glimpse of those dreams, tried gamely and failed completely.

For times I thought the world is not fair. How someone can get so much while others simply vain. How things that came first in your list, became last on theirs, and still they get it first.

Baffled you can call me. Angry? Definitely. Although there are some jealousy building up inside. How can you hate someone when you know you want to be in their position?

"A man was hung crying in the rain. Because of love."

I hate myself for what Im thinking at this precise moment.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Wish List

Currently on the toppest of my holiday wish list:

Jimmy Choo's Macy Silk Platform Sandal.

The ivory laces binded my heart by first look. It's definitely love at the first sight. The luminuous platform conveys heartwarming softness, indulging my barefoot. The high, without any doubt, beautiful heels ready to create an image of elegance and posture.

Now I'm drooling.

I blame the holiday season.

CHRISTMAS

Went to Starbucks this weekend. Intrigued by the promotional poster. Toffee Nut Latte is here.

Christmas is early this year.


Oh hello. My name is Denica and I am 19yo until next April. Currently residing and studying in Rotterdam. Thinks Spongebob is awesome. Loves eating reading writing drinking driving and laughing out loud. Technologically challenged, and generally a retard. You may reach me at dneeqa (at) hotmail (dot) com. January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010	Tuesday, December 26, 2006 The Week After It's been a week since school stopped. And my body aches to go back. Having my house behind the school granted me the privilege of passing it everytime Im heading somewhere. However I wondered. Do I longed to go back to that education institution for the sole purpose of studying behind piles of books, or is it just because I missed my friends who are scattered all over the universe at this very moment? Perhaps it's more honest to say that my longing are based 75% of the second reason to the first one. How sad. Currently repeating this tune again and again: Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing Especially when I have to watch other people kissin' And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood I dont why I trusted you but I knew that I could We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt I was just so happy in your boxers anyour t-shirt -Lily Allen, Littlest Thing I miss having someone to love. They say the greatest gift in your life is to love and be loved back in return. How do I find those gifts if they're wrapped so beautifully in gleaming stores, which Im not allowed to enter due to my shabby clothes. It's the holiday season influencing me. Is it? Im just grateful of being able to spend Christmas with my family yesterday. You know, If Im the philosopher who wrote that phrase ("the greatest gift in your life is to love and be loved back in return"), maybe I would rephrase it a bit. The greatest gift in your life is to be able to be grateful for what's in your hands. -Denica Riadini 2006. 1:18 PM · Sunday, December 24, 2006 O Holy Night As pathetic as it may sound, Im literally spending my once-a-year Christmas Eve infront of my computer. And Im not exactly proud of it. At all. Spent today wandering Jakarta with my family. Had our meal (breakfast + lunch since we woke up late) at Warung Daun South Jakarta, continued to a journey to the magical world of bed and bath in Sogo Plaza Senayan, bought bath needs (and an adorable pink fluffy slipper for my Christmas redemption). Then out of the blue, Dad insist that we attend the 5 o'clock service at Stella Maris. And all I could think about is this: "Damn I shouldnt wore this short". Well, eventually we went to the Gloria Acelia (longggg story), and there we are, late as always, sitting nicely for outdoor service, and was mortified by the abundant amount of bugs! And those looks. Some of the idealist (desperate) housewives who saw my shorts would thought I missed the disco for church or something. Well, what the ho. I know I wasnt exactly presentable for church, but it's the spirit that matters, right? Yay I feel better! Looking right and left and behind (Not infront. Guess you would know the answer why), at least this house represent some Christmas spirit. Or not. I can see Dad's Christmas light which he put this afternoon twinkling red-yellow and blue-green. Twinkling continually, lighting my grim heart, coloring my heart of the event. It's beautiful really, somehow reminds me of my last Christmas Eve (wandering off Orchard Road, covered in paste and fake snow). Deep down inside, Im trully am a Singaporean. Really want to post some in-house Christmas beauties, but again, NO CAMERA. That's it, too many events are being missed out from this problem (too demanding camera). IM SAVING FOR EOS 400D. You'll see next year. Hopefully. 10:59 PM · Wednesday, December 20, 2006 Partners They say friendship came from the most unusual places. Sometimes from 2 young girls who went to the same Christian school, loathe each other at first, and became inseparable partners by the second year. First glance, we hate each other's guts. Second glance we became GJ Zooers. Third glance we became PPGs. Fourth glance we became classmates. Then we became partners. Bullshits are simply inadequate to tell what we share in common. Perhaps the best way to say this is by reading what we testimony about each other in a non-commercial connection website. D's testimony from A: "d eni ca is my sweetest friend. dont cha?hahaha. she is a bit emotional girl who can feel guilty and angry at the same tym. she is a strong powerful adolescent girl who dislike underestimated by everybody. she has a strong will when she want a something. except mathematic and science. she is very good at writing i love SO MUCH her style of writing, unique and dedicated. mayb she was born to be a writer but she never regret it at all. lots of wishes . this . that. those. these. same lyk me nah? . one thing that i love from her . SHE CAN BE HERSELF WITHOUT BE FUCKING PARIS HILTON WANNABE. if i had a mirror of myself mayb it show lyk urs. we had born with the same zodiaq. outgoing.stubborn.dedicated.easygoing. if she is so i am. it really hard to say that im kinda a bit jealous because she has lot of sisters and bros not just lyk me. she has stupid and sweet face. so i do ENJOY being -her-very-instant-friend-to-picked-up-to-go-to-any-where. ahiahiahia . anyahaha. oh ya i always remember her messiness. her lateness. her fuckiness. her bastardness. hahaha denica is also quite spoilttt... soo change girlll. groww upp!!. . . tuk tuk tuk. i hv sooo many ideas but i wont tell them all in here. kinda stupid . fs sucks. byk basa basi la yaoke cya my partner in crime. i hope c ya on the next detention. study hard ok!then maybe im fucking SHOCK when i know you are a lawyer on the next 10 years. just i said. "HAHAHA" VIVA PPG. " A'S testimony from D: "au di lia is my caramel machiato. sweet most of the time, bitter when she meant it. she's the best partner i have ever had so far. i could never believe how much factors which we had in common. so much that i tend to forget you're for real. i remembered that once she dreamt in becoming a dentist as an act of revenge to her dentist. she was so plain then, i didnt know her so well. now, after her ups and downs, i can say it's quite a pleasure to be able to be in the same class with you to watch that take place and to deal it with you. audilia's a girl's girl. she can fill you with an unbelivable amount of gossips in one glance. she's dedicated in almost all of her study field. she's a real hard working girl, and often caught day dreaming and passing notes with someone we know during English. this, to be honest, has caused her a bit of a trouble with her homeroom.you know, if in 10 years time i would see you as a dentist/designer/scientist, i would pat you and say "well done". i cant believe we wont be in the same class once we come back to school." 11:08 PM · Tuesday, December 19, 2006 WTF So here's the deal. I have a friend. A supposedly solid friend, which has been nagging all month that we (PPGs) have to go somewhere due to the fact that it has been months since we went out together. Yesterday we promised to go to EX and watch Eragon, and you know, when I confirmed her back, she said that she dont think she's able to make it since she's having piano lesson in the afternoon. Fine, I went to Starbucks Tebet with I t o and A u d i instead. In the middle of my enjoyment of he live jazz music, she SMSed me, asked where was I, and how PPG always said that we'll go somewhere and voila, we're simply not going. And there was I, so foolish indeed to feelt guilty of going without her. And today, A ud ili a had proposed that we'll go and enjoy the evening with our witty IPEKA alumnis at Boulevard Green Garden. I know that it's pretty late, but what the hell. Despite my curfew, I drove there instead for the sake of spending time together. And you know what? After my sacrifice, do you know what I found out? She's dating with her soon-to-be-bf at Plaza Senayan. Bang. There I have it. My mind was filled with anger and rage as soon as I heard Audi updated me with this fact. My blood was racing, my adrenaline rushing, and my heart burning. For the sake of decency and cencorship, I would not say here what I thought of her earlier. Then I called her from the car. I asked what the fuck was going on. And she innocently declare that she cant go home since her mom's not home yet. AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING RELATION WITH WHAT I ASKED? I shut off the connection, my feet pedalling the gas with rage. You said in your Friendster profile that you dont want to meet a hypocrite. Well, have you look at your reflection in the mirror lately? My night is ruined. 10:49 PM · Sweet 17ths Why is it do girls celebrate only their 17th birthday as if their lives depends on it? Is it a celebration of maturity, the age when you are legally considered as adults, or is it simply a mindset that you have to celebrate it? Why is it do boys dont celebrate their 17ths? I mean, they also get their IDs at 17. What make it so much different? If there's sweet 17, shouldnt be a Bitter 16th? Or Sour 19th? Or even Plain 20th? It's not as if Im complaining. Sweet 17ths are a social event most adored by adolescences, a chance to show off once in a lifetime, to be the bitchiest person in the world but being forgiven cause it's your night. However, I really think it really isnt a legitimate excuse to throw abundant amount of your parent's money to satisfy other. I do admit enjoy receiving those party invitations, but keep it simple and humble baby. Question: Does the cost outlived the benefit? 3:22 PM · Friday, December 15, 2006 Good Morning It's 12 minutes past Friday, which concurrently provide an explanation on my rumbling stomach, begging for food. Today's the promised last day of school, which I spent roughly with a Toffee Nut Latte in hand and a slipper on foot. Right after then we had Student Council farewell by eating at Hanamasa Puri Indah Mall. Ashamed as it is, that was the first time I set my feet in that all-you-can-eat restaurant. It's a real treat to see my tablemates (Me, Audi, Alice, and Nadia) share duties in cooking Shabu-Shabu and Yakiniku. We cooked, laughed, ate, and teased other's eating habits, such as: 1. I took a couple of Rambutans to our table for dessert. Then, I asked for a knife to open it, good ask? Wrong guess. The maid looked at me in confusion, and nothing could compare to how my friends teased me after that. In conclusion, you simply dont open a fresh Rambutan with a knife, you pushed it hard to break the thick hairy skin. 2. Audi was attempting to chop a piece of grilled fish when one, half, of her chopstick flew across the table, almost blinding Nadia in fraction of seconds. Her blank look throw the laughter on for minutes. 3. Alice and I took some Mixed Ice to satisfy our hungry eyes (they were so beautiful, all pinky and sweet), and when we tried a spoonful, bye-bye Mixed Ice. They suck. And guilt haunted us when we took notice at a brochure on the other side of our table: "All food that we serve is a blessing from GOD, please do not waste it". What a perfect appetite closure. And now here we are once again, infront of the digital world which empowered globalization. Chatted to some of my colleagues, preparing to leave this country, some for their holiday, and some forever. Paulina is leaving for America in 2 days for a whole month holiday. Another was leaving in 8 hours to Singapore for a cruise. Others are just leaving behind memories of good times spent together. I cant believe Im saying this, but I miss my school. After referring it as a "living hell" to my Economic teacher. Brilliant maneuvre. Welcoming my first 30 minutes of Christmas holiday with less enthusiastic than I thought. 11:59 PM · Thursday, December 14, 2006 Just asking It's the time again. The time to listen. It's both intriguing and strange to see how different people react to my curiosity. It's funny to find how people thought that my curiosity was based on trick questions. Maybe it's just us, our ego got in the way that we react without a cause. After all, we are merely human. Question: Just how much do you think those so called experts and marketers have changed the way we live our lives? Heal my curiosity. Feed me back. 8:50 PM · Saturday, December 09, 2006 Fate and Fiction Sometimes I stopped to think. Is it possible that while Im walking, Im passing someone Im bound to know? Someone destined to love, someone prophesied to help. And most of the times Im scared of not being able to stretch my hand to my fate. And the more propeling thought is that Im not sure I believe in fate. They say the world is not enough. Why? Is it because our lies eventually came into the surface, acknowledged by strangers? Is it the guilt that triggered us to came up with such fiction, fiction that became civil law among our little hearts? And I admit that I know nothing to answer these. But I do know that the world is not too small after all. Sometimes late night I love to lose myself in my thoughts, observing quietly of my own little world. A week earlier when I came to collect my sister's arrival from Melbourne, I noticed how love is squandered in the air. Every passengers who came out from the arrival gate was sullen, probably due to the delayed flight, and I noticed how those lips curled up, with twinkling eyes running toward their dearly beloved who like I was, came to welcome them back. Funny how GOD works. Sometimes He shaked His Christmas crystal ball, raining snows on the Snowman. And we are the Snowman. Rained upon, we frowned and object, for we human by nature are afraid of changes. We tried to bargain our way back, but snow had already started. Im soaked, and I dont want to change. Even if I know it's for the better. 1:49 PM · Thursday, December 07, 2006 Sometimes you see them near you. Those who the society refer to as the 'beautiful' people. Those who according to Janis Ian, win in this life. And I thought that happens in movies only. For years I befriended one. Those who get everything I have ever dreamt of. Those who without even trying, got everything squandered without sweat. And here I stand. Striving to get a glimpse of those dreams, tried gamely and failed completely. For times I thought the world is not fair. How someone can get so much while others simply vain. How things that came first in your list, became last on theirs, and still they get it first. Baffled you can call me. Angry? Definitely. Although there are some jealousy building up inside. How can you hate someone when you know you want to be in their position? "A man was hung crying in the rain. Because of love." I hate myself for what Im thinking at this precise moment. 10:19 AM · Monday, December 04, 2006 Wish List Currently on the toppest of my holiday wish list: Jimmy Choo's Macy Silk Platform Sandal. The ivory laces binded my heart by first look. It's definitely love at the first sight. The luminuous platform conveys heartwarming softness, indulging my barefoot. The high, without any doubt, beautiful heels ready to create an image of elegance and posture. Now I'm drooling. I blame the holiday season. 11:49 AM · CHRISTMAS Went to Starbucks this weekend. Intrigued by the promotional poster. Toffee Nut Latte is here. Christmas is early this year. 9:07 AM ·