Life's a Beach so Take Off Your Pants and Run.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Never before I embraced the cliche this hard. This too shall past. I wish I could fast time forward to get pass the deadlines. A week feels like a month.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Parhessiast

Parhessiast; Par: All, Hessiast:Sayings.

I was sneaking away from my study last night, hoping to find a slight refreshment offered by the Television. And alas, the night's program was a total dissapointment to my troubled mind, so I helplessly switched to an Indonesian news which are telling the stories of flood victims.

All of them are smiling and laughing. Somehow their raised lips conveys more of a submittance to their optionless fate than the opposite of sorrow.

Today ICC (IPEKA Computer Competition) has officially begun. And a free copy of Kompas newspaper was being distributed to each student. 5 minutes after the Bahasa assessment essay was being submitted, I begun reading the newpaper to get rid of boredom, and an article stunned me.

"During the disaster meeting, the Vice President and some of related ministers and the Governor was laughing as if without any burden whatsoever. A politic opera which clearly shows the gap between the people and the government."

What the. Have they lost their logic alltogether with their shame? Is their corrupted little brains have failed to think that the people are dying, and still able to find the strength to open their lips in a smile, when all they did was chitchatting during solvement meeting?

I realize that they have built an antibodi against the corruption exposure, and what else will it take to regain the scraps of what's left of this once so rich nation? Parhessiast. If only the people and the government share a common objective which clearly does not involce further benefit of one party. Parhessiast. If only everything is being communicated clearly without shadows. Parhessiast. If only shame would run once again in their running blood.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Negativity Hole

They have been haunting me quite some time now. The deep darkness of the unknown, following me closely as if pretending to become my shadow. As I started my day, long after I set out the light, still it preceded my thoughts no matter how it seemed to temporarily vanished when I peeked behind my back.

This by far and will be the toughest month ever in my whole academic life, and feeling like this isnt helping at all. Teachers have mischieveously set out our assessment tasks coherently without any fcking logic involved. Homework after homework, tests after tests, irrelevant assignments one after another. Frankly, I was this close to lost track of them all together, and when finally I wrote them down in sequence, I almost fainted at once by picturing the burden I would have to carry around all week.

Plus my recorded marks are not that brilliant compared to last year. And Im leaving for a Mandarin-based course in Beijing next year. Without any Mandarin ability.

If there's one way, any way to loosen me up, this is the best time to say it.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Euphoric

In 4 simple words, I had a blast. After years without knowing each other's existence, we collide as awkward at first, and grew freakier each second together. A cousin and his Dad actually mistaken me for my oldest sister, shocked when I told them Im not doing my Masters Degree in Holland. They said I got so.. Different from their last memory, when I was just a hobbit.

On Saturday night, we enjoyed our Chinese New Year dinner until midnight, while the parents are chatting and enjoying the Old Chinese songs, the children are cursing the table setter for putting our table right infront of the humongous amplifier, deafening our innocent ears, enough to drive the boys out for a smoke and leaving the girls cursing the boys for leaving them to suffer alone.

At 1 in the morning, we swapped to pijamas, and crossed the mist-filled air of Grandma's back garden to comfort ourselves on the wooden chairs across the deep blue pool. The coldness of the air encourages my cousin for a smoke as my niece (both older than me) to set the cards. We were going to gamble in the middle of the night.

As the sun started to push the darkness away and debts and profits are piling on the sheet note, we sat by the pool, letting our bare feet swayed to and fro, then we talked.

When we finally woke up, it was Chinese New Year. The first thing that we did was regained our seats on the wooden chairs by the pool, gambling once more. My evening we swam and ate and sat lazily on the couch and watched TV until nightfall. Then we went to karaoke.

There was basically only 5 of us (2 were 18 and 20, 2 happens to be 12.), driving to NAV Malang, and when we got there, at once we ordered the songs through the keyboard. in 15 minutes, the young ones went out to a Internet Cafe next door, and the leftovers (oldies) were left to enjoy the room to ourselves.

We yelled, screamed, sang, drank, and we laughed out loud.

By the time we got home, we were directly sent to bed since one of my cousin's flight is due in the next 8hours. So we did obey by changing our clothes and brushed our teeth, then we sneaked to the boy's room and chatted and teased and gambled and laughed for the last time.

Now we're once again apart. Each living different lives, thousand miles apart. Probably not seeing each other for years again. But these past 3 days have crafted an invincible promise in our hearts, that one day when we are older, we shall meet again.

Until then.

P.S. I missed being able to sleep in the morning and wakes up during lunch time. The fact that I must sleep early to wake up on time for school tomorrow is simply leaving me miserable.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Celebrating Chinese New Year

I am at this precise second writing this alphabets in frnt of my niece's computer in Malang, East Java. I am currently living and breathing in peace here, with the cold air and (sigh) continuous rain. We stayed at my Grandmother's house, and already I felt like Im in Bali. The pool during night time is breath-taking. Unfortunately I was dumb enough to go here without a swimming suit.

I admit that I dont remember much of this place since my last visit here (6-7 year ago), but something tells me this place has gone through so much development ever since. Perhaps the most vivid memory of this place was the riding horse-carriages and visiting small warongs. And now every time I gazed across the car-window, the view of expensive cars stretched from here to there. Perhaps this town has gone from a cultural small town, to a miniature of Jakarta.

Im meeting the rest of the big family from Mom's side during Chinese New Year Dinner tonight. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The 14th of February

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you out there breathing by the same air as I do. May your Valentine be heart-warming, with or without someone special.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Regrets

I hate having regrets. This evening I went to a Plaza with my sister and brother, and guess who I found checking the information board? My chiropractor. With just a glance of him, a sudden impulse to turn my back took control of my body and mind, leaving him without a proper hello.

In the way home, I told my sister about my slight encounter with him, and right after she asked me to describe him (Australian, thirty something, single, smells good), she called me a moron.

And to be honest, this is not the first time I pretend not seeing somebody with absolutely no reason, and having regrets corrupting my mind after that. What the hell happened to me is still an unsolved chemistry, and please I would like to know the answer.

Last month during the Stock Simulation workshop, I thought I saw my long lost childhood friend whom once was my best friend. To make it short, I pretended not to realize that that is him even after I looked at him, and he looked at me. And even until now I still blame myself for not taking the chance to ask whether it was him who I saw there.

When I did a mistake which in the end ruined my whole dream and plans, I tortured myself in silence by reminiscing the details of the event and what I did, especially what ruined everything.

Regrets, until when will you eat me up.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Boohoo

The weather has been teasing us lately. Showing off its power by showering human beings, especially in the capital city of Indonesia, Jakarta. After days of disastrous consequences on the misconduct of Jakarta-nese for definite ignorance for government laws, for littering all sort of used and no longer beneficial products into places they shouldn't (sewer gutter and lakes) and for building houses by the edge of a potentially flooding water storages.

School re-started 2 days ago. Everything's been tough, especially by having all teachers being panicky for feeling disadvantaged from the flood, causing them to stay behind from the Board of Studies' schedule. As I dragged myself from class to class, gradually I kept retelling myself, this too shall pass. Damn it's real hard to concentrate these days.

It's infuriating to see how much of my school mates totally exploited the word 'flood' as an absolute reason for deliberately skipping school out of laziness. Are they aware of the fact that thousands are deprived from attending normal school activities due from the natural disaster overcoming their schools and homes? Simply speechless.

Until when will this fluctuative situation going to last? Volatility is plain disturbing.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Things Picking Up

Things have started to lightened up. In most parts of Jakarta, flood water has lowering itself, bringing life back to ones who were lost it once. Things started to be a bit normal, eventhough school will not resume until Wednesday.

But yet again this is no time to be celebrating. Just 3 days ago as I was walking around with 2 friends living nearby, I saw people living in kampongs just behind my house was clumsily taking shelter in my school and the church behind it. Dusty matresses, small oil stove, and boxes of instant noodle was everywhere to be found.

In front of the guest bathroom (1st floor), my heart sunk while seeing a small girl hungrily dug her small fingers to an instant noodle plastic package, scraping what's left of the raw noodle, uncooked.

Just now, I joined my sister and brother to watch an Indonesian teledrama. And by hell, disgust crept over me instantly. In the hard times like this, how could they possibly cast such a degrading programmes? Now I found a reason to be ashamed of my own country.

A friend of mine commented, "What is needed above of all in those societies is bloody-minded irrationality". Maybe it is what this country needed, irrationality to approve things.

Contrast to what I wrote for the title, again I asked myself. Have we picked things up? From what? For I can no longer see the difference.

Perhaps corruption, lateness, and degrading programmes have indeed became our nation's culture.

Last night a friend wrote: "Sometimes I consider myself as autistic, for I cant understand even the simplest things". Probably that's why they're called simple, so that the experts can find their way out without solving it. A simple thing consist of a thousand complex beings. You're not alone.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Crippled Capital

Jakarta has been a definite hectic these past 5 days. First day, we were sent home due to blackout overcoming the high school. Second day, a mass amount of water have fallen from the grey sky, each night later on with a heart-stopping thunder roaring occassionally. Third day, school's been canceled from the flood, and we thought it would stop there.

Fourth day, water's rising to ankle level in Puri Indah, some reach their thighs. Excessed water had brought precautions of electrocution by the National Electricity Generator, thus shutting off the electricity just like that. By night and when everything's pitch black, I humbly asked my sister, "Which one do you prefer? Blackout or no water?"

Fifth day, the water's out. No electricity meant no power to generate the pump to pull the water, resulting in water shortage. Life was officially miserable. The only reason I can write now is the generator brought by Dad from his office.

Until now, some locations claimed that water had reached 4 metres, burying their homes beneath uncountable volume of chocolate-ish water, driving locals to climb to their roofs and exclude all other choices but to stood there and wait until help arrives. Death toll have climbed to 30, officials said more is expected.

Here we are. Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, the capital of all economic and government activity, made crippled by the so called natural phenomenon.


Oh hello. My name is Denica and I am 19yo until next April. Currently residing and studying in Rotterdam. Thinks Spongebob is awesome. Loves eating reading writing drinking driving and laughing out loud. Technologically challenged, and generally a retard. You may reach me at dneeqa (at) hotmail (dot) com. January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010	Wednesday, February 28, 2007 Never before I embraced the cliche this hard. This too shall past. I wish I could fast time forward to get pass the deadlines. A week feels like a month. 9:04 PM · Thursday, February 22, 2007 Parhessiast Parhessiast; Par: All, Hessiast:Sayings. I was sneaking away from my study last night, hoping to find a slight refreshment offered by the Television. And alas, the night's program was a total dissapointment to my troubled mind, so I helplessly switched to an Indonesian news which are telling the stories of flood victims. All of them are smiling and laughing. Somehow their raised lips conveys more of a submittance to their optionless fate than the opposite of sorrow. Today ICC (IPEKA Computer Competition) has officially begun. And a free copy of Kompas newspaper was being distributed to each student. 5 minutes after the Bahasa assessment essay was being submitted, I begun reading the newpaper to get rid of boredom, and an article stunned me. "During the disaster meeting, the Vice President and some of related ministers and the Governor was laughing as if without any burden whatsoever. A politic opera which clearly shows the gap between the people and the government." What the. Have they lost their logic alltogether with their shame? Is their corrupted little brains have failed to think that the people are dying, and still able to find the strength to open their lips in a smile, when all they did was chitchatting during solvement meeting? I realize that they have built an antibodi against the corruption exposure, and what else will it take to regain the scraps of what's left of this once so rich nation? Parhessiast. If only the people and the government share a common objective which clearly does not involce further benefit of one party. Parhessiast. If only everything is being communicated clearly without shadows. Parhessiast. If only shame would run once again in their running blood. 8:01 PM · Wednesday, February 21, 2007 Negativity Hole They have been haunting me quite some time now. The deep darkness of the unknown, following me closely as if pretending to become my shadow. As I started my day, long after I set out the light, still it preceded my thoughts no matter how it seemed to temporarily vanished when I peeked behind my back. This by far and will be the toughest month ever in my whole academic life, and feeling like this isnt helping at all. Teachers have mischieveously set out our assessment tasks coherently without any fcking logic involved. Homework after homework, tests after tests, irrelevant assignments one after another. Frankly, I was this close to lost track of them all together, and when finally I wrote them down in sequence, I almost fainted at once by picturing the burden I would have to carry around all week. Plus my recorded marks are not that brilliant compared to last year. And Im leaving for a Mandarin-based course in Beijing next year. Without any Mandarin ability. If there's one way, any way to loosen me up, this is the best time to say it. 6:14 PM · Monday, February 19, 2007 Euphoric In 4 simple words, I had a blast. After years without knowing each other's existence, we collide as awkward at first, and grew freakier each second together. A cousin and his Dad actually mistaken me for my oldest sister, shocked when I told them Im not doing my Masters Degree in Holland. They said I got so.. Different from their last memory, when I was just a hobbit. On Saturday night, we enjoyed our Chinese New Year dinner until midnight, while the parents are chatting and enjoying the Old Chinese songs, the children are cursing the table setter for putting our table right infront of the humongous amplifier, deafening our innocent ears, enough to drive the boys out for a smoke and leaving the girls cursing the boys for leaving them to suffer alone. At 1 in the morning, we swapped to pijamas, and crossed the mist-filled air of Grandma's back garden to comfort ourselves on the wooden chairs across the deep blue pool. The coldness of the air encourages my cousin for a smoke as my niece (both older than me) to set the cards. We were going to gamble in the middle of the night. As the sun started to push the darkness away and debts and profits are piling on the sheet note, we sat by the pool, letting our bare feet swayed to and fro, then we talked. When we finally woke up, it was Chinese New Year. The first thing that we did was regained our seats on the wooden chairs by the pool, gambling once more. My evening we swam and ate and sat lazily on the couch and watched TV until nightfall. Then we went to karaoke. There was basically only 5 of us (2 were 18 and 20, 2 happens to be 12.), driving to NAV Malang, and when we got there, at once we ordered the songs through the keyboard. in 15 minutes, the young ones went out to a Internet Cafe next door, and the leftovers (oldies) were left to enjoy the room to ourselves. We yelled, screamed, sang, drank, and we laughed out loud. By the time we got home, we were directly sent to bed since one of my cousin's flight is due in the next 8hours. So we did obey by changing our clothes and brushed our teeth, then we sneaked to the boy's room and chatted and teased and gambled and laughed for the last time. Now we're once again apart. Each living different lives, thousand miles apart. Probably not seeing each other for years again. But these past 3 days have crafted an invincible promise in our hearts, that one day when we are older, we shall meet again. Until then. P.S. I missed being able to sleep in the morning and wakes up during lunch time. The fact that I must sleep early to wake up on time for school tomorrow is simply leaving me miserable. 9:51 PM · Saturday, February 17, 2007 Celebrating Chinese New Year I am at this precise second writing this alphabets in frnt of my niece's computer in Malang, East Java. I am currently living and breathing in peace here, with the cold air and (sigh) continuous rain. We stayed at my Grandmother's house, and already I felt like Im in Bali. The pool during night time is breath-taking. Unfortunately I was dumb enough to go here without a swimming suit. I admit that I dont remember much of this place since my last visit here (6-7 year ago), but something tells me this place has gone through so much development ever since. Perhaps the most vivid memory of this place was the riding horse-carriages and visiting small warongs. And now every time I gazed across the car-window, the view of expensive cars stretched from here to there. Perhaps this town has gone from a cultural small town, to a miniature of Jakarta. Im meeting the rest of the big family from Mom's side during Chinese New Year Dinner tonight. Wish me luck. 2:27 PM · Wednesday, February 14, 2007 The 14th of February Happy Valentine's Day to all of you out there breathing by the same air as I do. May your Valentine be heart-warming, with or without someone special. 6:43 PM · Sunday, February 11, 2007 Regrets I hate having regrets. This evening I went to a Plaza with my sister and brother, and guess who I found checking the information board? My chiropractor. With just a glance of him, a sudden impulse to turn my back took control of my body and mind, leaving him without a proper hello. In the way home, I told my sister about my slight encounter with him, and right after she asked me to describe him (Australian, thirty something, single, smells good), she called me a moron. And to be honest, this is not the first time I pretend not seeing somebody with absolutely no reason, and having regrets corrupting my mind after that. What the hell happened to me is still an unsolved chemistry, and please I would like to know the answer. Last month during the Stock Simulation workshop, I thought I saw my long lost childhood friend whom once was my best friend. To make it short, I pretended not to realize that that is him even after I looked at him, and he looked at me. And even until now I still blame myself for not taking the chance to ask whether it was him who I saw there. When I did a mistake which in the end ruined my whole dream and plans, I tortured myself in silence by reminiscing the details of the event and what I did, especially what ruined everything. Regrets, until when will you eat me up. 7:19 PM · Friday, February 09, 2007 Boohoo The weather has been teasing us lately. Showing off its power by showering human beings, especially in the capital city of Indonesia, Jakarta. After days of disastrous consequences on the misconduct of Jakarta-nese for definite ignorance for government laws, for littering all sort of used and no longer beneficial products into places they shouldn't (sewer gutter and lakes) and for building houses by the edge of a potentially flooding water storages. School re-started 2 days ago. Everything's been tough, especially by having all teachers being panicky for feeling disadvantaged from the flood, causing them to stay behind from the Board of Studies' schedule. As I dragged myself from class to class, gradually I kept retelling myself, this too shall pass. Damn it's real hard to concentrate these days. It's infuriating to see how much of my school mates totally exploited the word 'flood' as an absolute reason for deliberately skipping school out of laziness. Are they aware of the fact that thousands are deprived from attending normal school activities due from the natural disaster overcoming their schools and homes? Simply speechless. Until when will this fluctuative situation going to last? Volatility is plain disturbing. 9:49 PM · Monday, February 05, 2007 Things Picking Up Things have started to lightened up. In most parts of Jakarta, flood water has lowering itself, bringing life back to ones who were lost it once. Things started to be a bit normal, eventhough school will not resume until Wednesday. But yet again this is no time to be celebrating. Just 3 days ago as I was walking around with 2 friends living nearby, I saw people living in kampongs just behind my house was clumsily taking shelter in my school and the church behind it. Dusty matresses, small oil stove, and boxes of instant noodle was everywhere to be found. In front of the guest bathroom (1st floor), my heart sunk while seeing a small girl hungrily dug her small fingers to an instant noodle plastic package, scraping what's left of the raw noodle, uncooked. Just now, I joined my sister and brother to watch an Indonesian teledrama. And by hell, disgust crept over me instantly. In the hard times like this, how could they possibly cast such a degrading programmes? Now I found a reason to be ashamed of my own country. A friend of mine commented, "What is needed above of all in those societies is bloody-minded irrationality". Maybe it is what this country needed, irrationality to approve things. Contrast to what I wrote for the title, again I asked myself. Have we picked things up? From what? For I can no longer see the difference. Perhaps corruption, lateness, and degrading programmes have indeed became our nation's culture. Last night a friend wrote: "Sometimes I consider myself as autistic, for I cant understand even the simplest things". Probably that's why they're called simple, so that the experts can find their way out without solving it. A simple thing consist of a thousand complex beings. You're not alone. 9:14 PM · Sunday, February 04, 2007 Crippled Capital Jakarta has been a definite hectic these past 5 days. First day, we were sent home due to blackout overcoming the high school. Second day, a mass amount of water have fallen from the grey sky, each night later on with a heart-stopping thunder roaring occassionally. Third day, school's been canceled from the flood, and we thought it would stop there. Fourth day, water's rising to ankle level in Puri Indah, some reach their thighs. Excessed water had brought precautions of electrocution by the National Electricity Generator, thus shutting off the electricity just like that. By night and when everything's pitch black, I humbly asked my sister, "Which one do you prefer? Blackout or no water?" Fifth day, the water's out. No electricity meant no power to generate the pump to pull the water, resulting in water shortage. Life was officially miserable. The only reason I can write now is the generator brought by Dad from his office. Until now, some locations claimed that water had reached 4 metres, burying their homes beneath uncountable volume of chocolate-ish water, driving locals to climb to their roofs and exclude all other choices but to stood there and wait until help arrives. Death toll have climbed to 30, officials said more is expected. Here we are. Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, the capital of all economic and government activity, made crippled by the so called natural phenomenon. 9:24 PM ·