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Saturday, March 31, 2007
Assessments: The Aftermath
I just finished gazing at my previous posts associated with depression and frustration prior to the March Assessment week. What a twit I was. Thinking back now, with the results well distributed, I realize that my frustration has made it worse. Frankly, those are perhaps the worst assessment marks I've received, and sure indeed it sadden me the first few days, but now whatever.I dont know why but perhaps one thing I loathe from my high school is that how every teacher graded us basically from our grades on his/her subject. Fortunately my homeroom and my business teacher do not. From the beginning of the year, my business teacher informed the class that he knew our quality from the analitical questions he made us do (even sometimes he taught the Economics classes as well :) ), and what he expected from us individually, and if the result dissapointed him, he'll start asking questions, for he knew we were better than that.
Critics have spreaded that my current Economics teacher sent students to join competitions based on their academic performances, what's written in black and red on a piece of white paper. An economic student who happens to be a friend of mine expressed his anger when he knew that she (the teacher) did not even inform him regarding any competition whatsoever (the stock simulation, the University of Indonesia's debate competition, and recently the National Science Olimpics).
True, indeed, when I reflect on this matter again and again. I did not know this before since we dont share the same economics class, and I was shocked when he told me that the teacher did not even asked for those who are willing to participate and directly handpicked the candidates based on the highest rank in her teacher marks book. Something struck me. I was chosen to join the debate competition because her 'chosen ones' are unable to join prior to the upcoming extension 1 maths assessment, and I, as a non-extension student, was free as a bird.
Perhaps it is a fact. But who can blame her? After so many Economics awards that she has presented the school with this month alone (compared to previous economics teacher who failed to enrich the school with economics recognition at all), perhaps her way is indeed effective. And who can blame human ego, unaltered and unquenched with the current condition, and expect more from the best?
But how about the students with so much potentials, undiscovered beneath layers of gradings and papers, prepared to give their best shot and hoping that their best shot was good enough to earn them a trophy, again, being left out without any opportunity whatsoever to prove that they've got it?
Who are now to blame? The students for not being able to score higher that what's expected? The teacher, for not being just? Or the assessments, the system which was create to grade?
Sometimes I wonder if it is true that students (teenagers) just want to have fun go mad without considering school and their academic performances. From my experiences, I doubt it.
Friday, March 30, 2007
A Black Parade
My sister called all the way from Amsterdam last night. After 5 minutes, we started talking about universities, again. My main concern at the moment is that wherever i go to in the end wont add up to the structural unemployment rate in Indonesia.
So by the way I am so glad for being able to do most of my to-do-list for this holiday. Eventhough it's not going to end until this weekend, still at least I've done some pretty substantial things lately :). My main trouble is that I have failed to work out. And gain weight. Seriously, to anyone outhere who happen to posses any tips of advice on how to gain weight, please kindly stop by and let me know.
Yesterday as I waited for my physiooteraphist, I laid my eyes on the latest Kom pas. Scribbled on the headline news was a picture of the Indonesian president and a couple of ministers talking to the press. By then I remembered something funny. I saw him, or his car on his way to the Ministry just before he made that shot. I was literally speechless while cold sweats trickling down my back when a police officer stopped the cars infront of my vehicle. I thought I have violated a 3-in-1 rule or something.
I have no drivers license. Yet. Damn.
In completely silent panic, my friend told me it may not be prior to any violation of the rules, and then I heard sirene busrtsing through the thin air, followed by a police on a 100km/hr-motorbike, followed by another 2 of the policemen, followed by an armed car, 2 armed car, a car with 'B 1 ' plate number, 6 speeding black cars, another 2 police-bikes, and at last a police bike.
It all happened in less than 1 minute. I stood still trying to decompose what I've been witnessing. A fast and furious black parade for the president (in the 'B 1 ' plated car) that requires the whole street to be blocked from other vehicles in order for them to complete the stunt. Wow.
It's all complementary with the title 'President', I guess.
So by the way I am so glad for being able to do most of my to-do-list for this holiday. Eventhough it's not going to end until this weekend, still at least I've done some pretty substantial things lately :). My main trouble is that I have failed to work out. And gain weight. Seriously, to anyone outhere who happen to posses any tips of advice on how to gain weight, please kindly stop by and let me know.
Yesterday as I waited for my physiooteraphist, I laid my eyes on the latest Kom pas. Scribbled on the headline news was a picture of the Indonesian president and a couple of ministers talking to the press. By then I remembered something funny. I saw him, or his car on his way to the Ministry just before he made that shot. I was literally speechless while cold sweats trickling down my back when a police officer stopped the cars infront of my vehicle. I thought I have violated a 3-in-1 rule or something.
I have no drivers license. Yet. Damn.
In completely silent panic, my friend told me it may not be prior to any violation of the rules, and then I heard sirene busrtsing through the thin air, followed by a police on a 100km/hr-motorbike, followed by another 2 of the policemen, followed by an armed car, 2 armed car, a car with 'B 1 ' plate number, 6 speeding black cars, another 2 police-bikes, and at last a police bike.
It all happened in less than 1 minute. I stood still trying to decompose what I've been witnessing. A fast and furious black parade for the president (in the 'B 1 ' plated car) that requires the whole street to be blocked from other vehicles in order for them to complete the stunt. Wow.
It's all complementary with the title 'President', I guess.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
A Reply To Your Tag
To Audi lya who tagged me and told me what it meant to be tagged by her:
5 reasons why I blogged:
1. Because I would like to sit back later in the future and laugh at my earlier life; the sweetness of reminiscing from what I wrote, what I felt, from my eyes and fingers.
2. Because I'm lovin' it.
3. Why not?
4. Because I need a place of my own nevertheless. A place to share what I have gone through, to help you from not repeating the same mistakes I did.
5. Because I adore writing and writing by hand is just excruciating :)
5 reasons why I blogged:
1. Because I would like to sit back later in the future and laugh at my earlier life; the sweetness of reminiscing from what I wrote, what I felt, from my eyes and fingers.
2. Because I'm lovin' it.
3. Why not?
4. Because I need a place of my own nevertheless. A place to share what I have gone through, to help you from not repeating the same mistakes I did.
5. Because I adore writing and writing by hand is just excruciating :)
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Mid-Term Holiday
In the end we lost prior to the deficit of time during the presentation. We failed to present all of our ideas, and that's what pissed me the most. We were so god-damn ignorant and stupid to actually forgot the time constraint (10 minutes), and over-explained the costs and possible sources to recoup those costs that we failed to fully explain, moreover failed to briefly outline the issues that may arise with the building of the highway (the problem).
Tomorrow we will start our 1 week holiday, some call it mid-term holiday, but we knew better. We were given this holiday prior to the fact that our Year 11 is going for their study trip to Australia, which costs a fortune, and the teachers are simply unabvailable to satisfy our academic needs for the time being.
And so I have started the holiday by researching for possibilities for my higher studies after I graduate this October, and other plans following tomorrow. I just wish that for once, I would be able to cross more than 5 of my holiday-to-do-list (last Christmas holiday I succeeded in crossing 3 out of 10).
Wish me luck <3
Thursday, March 22, 2007
IPEKA Idol
Ms Yuli Tjia just gave me this picture. I miss those days :(
We're currently hosting an internal combined subject day, with varieties of competitions such as Problem Solving (Economics, Maths, Science), Speech and Story Telling, Puppet show, and last but not least, IPEKA Idol. Each class would send their representatives to join each competition.
The principal had stated that the main objective behind hosting this small event is to break our routinity and for us to have fun. How in the world can we have fun when we are crammed in a group with an Economics problem to solve in 8 hours? Our minds spinned, tossed, and turned to find a solution to create a combination of the number of workers and machinery used to build a highway without exceeding the given budget. Before we knew it, it was time to go home and prepare our presentation for tomorrow.
Please remind me how this is not a routine already?
But the fun thing is that our class made it to the final for Puppet Show! Tomorrow also the IPEKA Idol will be held. GO MICHAEL AND ADIMASS. And we get to wear jeans on the inside and boxers for the outside for our agreed class theme. Eccentricity is the key to win this thing.
On the second thought, how am I going to carry the Economics oral presentation with jeans and boxer on the ourside.?
This should be fun.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Home-Food
It has been total of 2 (two) weeks since 3 of my maids went home to their respective kampongs, leaving only 1 behind, the one who could hardly cook. Thus our lives has been supported by take-aways and deliveries each passing night.
I admit it does feels exciting at the beginning, you know, eating various kinds of different food which was only possible during weekends when we went out for dinner. But the following days has made them unacceptable. It's not fun anymore, really.
I know it would made me sound like a spoilt brat to say this, but here it comes: I miss my maids. I miss their homey food. I'm sick of take-aways.
Please please come back, homefood.
I admit it does feels exciting at the beginning, you know, eating various kinds of different food which was only possible during weekends when we went out for dinner. But the following days has made them unacceptable. It's not fun anymore, really.
I know it would made me sound like a spoilt brat to say this, but here it comes: I miss my maids. I miss their homey food. I'm sick of take-aways.
Please please come back, homefood.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Causes and Effects
Due to last night's sudden excitement, I have failed to fall asleep soundly. For almost 2 hours I sprang back and forth just lose my consciousness to the dreamland, and believe it or not, I slept at around 1 in the morning, and woke up at 2 or 3 in the morning, washing my teeth and face until I realized that it was indeed still 3 in the morning where I should not even be there infront of the washing basin.
I went back to bed after that, again moving back and forth expecting to fall asleep, but once again I failed, resulting in an impersonation of Panda's eyes to replace my own eyes. I was not late, for once in many weeks, I actually came to school 5 minutes before the bell, instead of 20 minutes after.
Still, teachers maintained their lulabies through out the day, torturing my very being with endless words and work.
Again, following last night's sudden excitement, this very second I am sweating profusely with anxiety. God this is even worse than the finals.
Monday, March 12, 2007
I cant believe how a simple single discovery could curl my lips up all night long :)
IM SO HAPPY <3
IM SO HAPPY <3
The Anticlimax
Went black to school today. Every single atoms in my body shrieked with annoyance, really, I'm having the slowest boredom-filled-classes today. I cant believe I actually fell asleep during Business classes. For once.
After 3 days of non-stop adrenaline rush, perhaps my body still havent adapt back to my daily life. Boredom and slow-motion excruciated my mind. I'm getting back to my routine. And I dont think I'd like that very much.
Even after I finally went home, it's just felt like a chunk is missing, and I dont really know what to do. I stayed for hours in front of the TV (for once in many weeks), slept for half an hour, then decided to turn on the computer and get lost in it. Still, the chunk remained missing.
And I dont know what to do next.
I think I missed what I hated.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
They Are The Yellow Jackets
We won the first place.
After 3 days of physical and emotional exhaustion, we came first in the 2007 UI Economics Debate KOMPEK. And the funny thing is that I dont feel a thing. No excitement, no pride, nothing. Compared to the semifinal round when we literally leapt with joy when the adjudicators pointed our Affirmative team as the winner (WHETHER OR NOT we support government policy to import rice).
However, today during and after the final, I was experiencing difficulties in actually feeling good about winning. Yes indeed the final was an adrenaline booster (our faces was red like crabs from all the screaming and obejctions and elaborations), but after that, I had not impulse to enjoy our winning, even until the giving of the trophy and cash prize.
Perhaps the most memorable moment was when the MC called our team as the champion of 2007 UI Economics Debate KOMPEK, everyone, literally everyone bent towards us to congratulate us, saying compliments and wishes. There was a time when I dropped my notebook, and some of the KOMPEK commitee actually yelled my name to call me. I guess we made quite an impression there.
Maybe Im just dissapointed that it's over. Even with complaints when i had to strive to research the topics until midnight, woke up at 6 and started our 2 hours journey to Depok, and went back at 8 in the evening.
Perhaps I am dissapointed.
Suddenly winning isn't all what mattered.
After 3 days of physical and emotional exhaustion, we came first in the 2007 UI Economics Debate KOMPEK. And the funny thing is that I dont feel a thing. No excitement, no pride, nothing. Compared to the semifinal round when we literally leapt with joy when the adjudicators pointed our Affirmative team as the winner (WHETHER OR NOT we support government policy to import rice).
However, today during and after the final, I was experiencing difficulties in actually feeling good about winning. Yes indeed the final was an adrenaline booster (our faces was red like crabs from all the screaming and obejctions and elaborations), but after that, I had not impulse to enjoy our winning, even until the giving of the trophy and cash prize.
Perhaps the most memorable moment was when the MC called our team as the champion of 2007 UI Economics Debate KOMPEK, everyone, literally everyone bent towards us to congratulate us, saying compliments and wishes. There was a time when I dropped my notebook, and some of the KOMPEK commitee actually yelled my name to call me. I guess we made quite an impression there.
Maybe Im just dissapointed that it's over. Even with complaints when i had to strive to research the topics until midnight, woke up at 6 and started our 2 hours journey to Depok, and went back at 8 in the evening.
Perhaps I am dissapointed.
Suddenly winning isn't all what mattered.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Passed
We got through the elimination round :)
My heart was beating like a train was coming when I was about to deliver my speech for the first debate (WHETHER OR NOT we believe that economic welfare is the only means to secure peace), and my heart sang with lovely songs when the adjudcator annouce that our side (Affirmative) is the winning team.
However it stopped abruptly as I walked joyfully outside the room, where my colleagues (IPEKA Int team B) explained that there would be another debate after this. And another. And another. We got through 4 rounds in 4 hours, with 15 minutes for recess and topic preparation in every debates. The topics were:
1st round: whether or not we believe that economic welfare is the only means to secure peace. (Affirmative)
2nd round: whether or not we regret the government's Direct Cash Subsidy. (Affirmative)
3rd round: whether or not we believe that single ASEAN currency is the way to go. (Affirmative)
4th round: whether or not we support Tax Amnesty. (Negative)
By the third debate, my body is literally exhauseted, my head is burning with fever, and at once I am sure that I wont be able to continue to the next round. The problem is, our third debate is the only one by which we face highly aggresive negative side, and my ear burned from the emotion rised during the debate.
By the end of the day, we won 3 out of our 4 debates, which is pretty satisfactory prior to the fact that we were drop dead nervous and this was our first debating experience. Perhaps our most satisfactory winning came from the second round, where we faced students with blue coats and British accent. By then we thought that we were doomed, but as their debating attitude is highly excruciating, we lost our nervousness as we screamed objections to other's points. I leapt with joy when the judge annouce our house as the winning team since we provide relatively more relevant datas (which some are prior to our creative minds ;) ).
20 topics, 4 down, 16 more to go.
My heart was beating like a train was coming when I was about to deliver my speech for the first debate (WHETHER OR NOT we believe that economic welfare is the only means to secure peace), and my heart sang with lovely songs when the adjudcator annouce that our side (Affirmative) is the winning team.
However it stopped abruptly as I walked joyfully outside the room, where my colleagues (IPEKA Int team B) explained that there would be another debate after this. And another. And another. We got through 4 rounds in 4 hours, with 15 minutes for recess and topic preparation in every debates. The topics were:
1st round: whether or not we believe that economic welfare is the only means to secure peace. (Affirmative)
2nd round: whether or not we regret the government's Direct Cash Subsidy. (Affirmative)
3rd round: whether or not we believe that single ASEAN currency is the way to go. (Affirmative)
4th round: whether or not we support Tax Amnesty. (Negative)
By the third debate, my body is literally exhauseted, my head is burning with fever, and at once I am sure that I wont be able to continue to the next round. The problem is, our third debate is the only one by which we face highly aggresive negative side, and my ear burned from the emotion rised during the debate.
By the end of the day, we won 3 out of our 4 debates, which is pretty satisfactory prior to the fact that we were drop dead nervous and this was our first debating experience. Perhaps our most satisfactory winning came from the second round, where we faced students with blue coats and British accent. By then we thought that we were doomed, but as their debating attitude is highly excruciating, we lost our nervousness as we screamed objections to other's points. I leapt with joy when the judge annouce our house as the winning team since we provide relatively more relevant datas (which some are prior to our creative minds ;) ).
20 topics, 4 down, 16 more to go.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Nervous
OK I'm officially nervous. It's the middle of the night and I still haven't covered the whole 20 topics for tomorrow's debate. Great preparation. After 1 whole month to prepare, basically our preparation was 2 days. Not even full.
Please please allow us to do our best. Extra courage. I just hope our opponents would not be so much evil as our simulation partner.
Btw for Ste phanie and Be verly, here's the link for our povery datas.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
2 More Days and I'm Shaking
In this coming 2 days, our Economics Debate in UI (University of Indonesia) would finally come. After 1 month of preparing (almost?), delayed by the flood, here we are ready to give it a shot. And I am literally shaking by just thinking about it.
We had a simulation this afternoon. Basically there are 2 teams sent from my school, mine and the other. By luck, our draw concluded that this Thursday my team would defend the affirmative team while the other against it. Hence we were the perfect match to simulate and brainstorm our ideas, and the result? Inadequate.
My team are beckoned by the horrible and loud objections made by the opposing team, that everytime they screamed "Point Of Information", our minds went blank for a moment, unaware of anything to answer their questions.
Basically each of us had to stand infront and talk for minimum of 4-5 minutes. Now Im worried.
God this is worst than having endless deadlines.
Monday, March 05, 2007
The First PPGs 17th
March 5th, 2007. Mari ssa's 17th birthday. Today we all acted to be indifferent all day long, going home so soon it's considered strange.
Then I drove in the middle of the rain for my chiropractor's appointment, stuck in the traffic and had a cancellation for I was late almost 2 hours (the doctor closes at 6). Irked and grumbling, I did a maneuvre to fought the traffic once more to get home.
By the time I reach home, it was already 20:00, hence I continued my journey to Mari ssa's house with 4 of my friends. When we arrived, quickly we whispered as if somebody was listening (which of course, no one did listened to us making a fool of ourselves), then sneaked onto the front porch of her house and lighted the red candles which spelled "17".
When I counted to 3 (in whispers), we opened our mouths, singing (or howling?) tuneless version of "Happy Birthday" , laughing at our horrible singing, and singing even louder and worse.
Aware of our tuneless calling, the birthday girl finally got out, and at once we screamed a "Happy Birthday Mari ssa!!!" out loud, causing some neighbour heads peeking through to see the source of the silent-night-ruiner.
The rest was blurred from memories of laughter and crammed stomaches (from too much laughing out loud), endless pictures and more screaming.
At the end of the night, as we said our goodbyes and kissed the birthday girl on both cheeks, we ended our noisy gathering with a tear on her eyes.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Working
Thanks, John :)
Friday, March 02, 2007
The Haunting
These past 3 days was a living hell. A full 24 hours felt like a week, with piles and books of sheets and information to be condensed together in my mushed brain. Had my English Assessment yesterday, and Economics this afternoon. Frankly, I am not that sure of both are satisfying, and right now I am filled with nagging what ifs.
To make matters even worse, today's unexpected English Listening Assessment was a complete day-ruiner. All day long my heart was burdened, decreasing the supply of oxygen into my brain, and losing my ability to think clear. A mistake in listening interpretation causing a hysteria and irk, with the knowledge on how my answers simply did not match the prescribed answer.
As I failed to enjoy my lunch in order to conduct IGLOO (IPEKA Global Olimpics) Meeting, whining stomach and hysteria after the assessment just doesnt make things better. Plus the Yearbook designer meeting was quite depressing, and cancelled volleyball practice simply wrapped my day in a beautiful ribbon.
Right now I am supposed to write my Business Financial Report which is due on Monday, but my mind is preoccupied elsewhere, in a place where even I would regret later, compiling in my what'ifs pile.
What if I jsut dont care of the inadequate past assessments and move on to the coming assessments? As if.
To make matters even worse, today's unexpected English Listening Assessment was a complete day-ruiner. All day long my heart was burdened, decreasing the supply of oxygen into my brain, and losing my ability to think clear. A mistake in listening interpretation causing a hysteria and irk, with the knowledge on how my answers simply did not match the prescribed answer.
As I failed to enjoy my lunch in order to conduct IGLOO (IPEKA Global Olimpics) Meeting, whining stomach and hysteria after the assessment just doesnt make things better. Plus the Yearbook designer meeting was quite depressing, and cancelled volleyball practice simply wrapped my day in a beautiful ribbon.
Right now I am supposed to write my Business Financial Report which is due on Monday, but my mind is preoccupied elsewhere, in a place where even I would regret later, compiling in my what'ifs pile.
What if I jsut dont care of the inadequate past assessments and move on to the coming assessments? As if.