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Friday, June 22, 2007
They're Coming Home
I'm leaving for a lonesome holiday in Singapore on Sunday morning :), to be back on the 29th of June. On the same day, my older brother will be arriving from Amsterdam while my older sister from Melbourne. Unfortunately my eldest sister wont be able to come home prior to work/study thing from Amsterdam, and so the bunch will be missing 1.
I guess my dad/mom/little brother will be camping on the airport to collect all 3 of us. Hahaha. Hope our arrival time wont be that far off.
Cant believe I'm going to see my brother again! It has been a year since I last saw him walking here in this house. Mom has been rushing through the paintingof his room so that he will be able to sleep his first night here in his room. I guess my parents will be thrilled to have their oldest son back home. I know how much they missed him just by looking at stars that twinkled in their eyes everytime they speak of him.
This time this house wont be so empty after all. It would be like christmas again :)
I guess my dad/mom/little brother will be camping on the airport to collect all 3 of us. Hahaha. Hope our arrival time wont be that far off.
Cant believe I'm going to see my brother again! It has been a year since I last saw him walking here in this house. Mom has been rushing through the paintingof his room so that he will be able to sleep his first night here in his room. I guess my parents will be thrilled to have their oldest son back home. I know how much they missed him just by looking at stars that twinkled in their eyes everytime they speak of him.
This time this house wont be so empty after all. It would be like christmas again :)
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
An Email
I was just shuffling my emails, deleting the unused and keeping the necesaries. And I stumbled upon this email from a friend when he read my complaints regarding too much assessments from the school and how I felt that I couldnt cope any longer months ago.
He said:
"When you are a kid you think you're going to live forever and you're told you're gonna be special. Later you learn that you aren't special, and you gotta slowly get your head around not being around for ever... You're growing up missus."
Have I grown up to be that kid who learnt that she's not special and she wont be here forever?
I wish I have.
Getting tired of all the dramas.
He said:
"When you are a kid you think you're going to live forever and you're told you're gonna be special. Later you learn that you aren't special, and you gotta slowly get your head around not being around for ever... You're growing up missus."
Have I grown up to be that kid who learnt that she's not special and she wont be here forever?
I wish I have.
Getting tired of all the dramas.
Monday, June 18, 2007
No Holiday
We were given 30days well-earned break from the school. And on top of my to do list:
1. Finish my Business report assessment task.
2. Finish my Economics essay assessment task.
3. Finish my holiday homework Maths booklet.
4. Design my teacher's flyer.
5. Review all subjects before the trial.
My computer is currently unavailable due to motherboard crash. Now I'm left with my 12-yr old brother's laptop (yes, he has a laptop and i dont) which virtually cannot do anything substantially, unlike my precious computer. For one, it doesnt have Adobe :(
Im leaving for Singapore on 24th June, to be back on the 30th of June. School resumes as usual with a new building and more to pay on 16th of July.
That leaves me only 15 days to do:
1. Business research report.
2. Economics research essay.
3. Flyers.
4. Maths booklet.
5. Review everything before the trial.
Now when, exactly, is my holiday?
1. Finish my Business report assessment task.
2. Finish my Economics essay assessment task.
3. Finish my holiday homework Maths booklet.
4. Design my teacher's flyer.
5. Review all subjects before the trial.
My computer is currently unavailable due to motherboard crash. Now I'm left with my 12-yr old brother's laptop (yes, he has a laptop and i dont) which virtually cannot do anything substantially, unlike my precious computer. For one, it doesnt have Adobe :(
Im leaving for Singapore on 24th June, to be back on the 30th of June. School resumes as usual with a new building and more to pay on 16th of July.
That leaves me only 15 days to do:
1. Business research report.
2. Economics research essay.
3. Flyers.
4. Maths booklet.
5. Review everything before the trial.
Now when, exactly, is my holiday?
Saturday, June 16, 2007
I HATE MY SCHOOL
And Im not just saying it. I mean it, from the bottom of my heart.
I dont hate it because of the assignments that we are given, the assessments, or any attempt they made to make our lives harder for the sake of education. I hate that fcking school because they're so fcking stingy and they made decisions based on what they think is best for us withput even consulting us about it.
Clearly what we pay per month does not by any means reflect what we deserve.
We're moving to the new building right after we re-entered the school from this June holiday, and the school allegedly say that for the sake of efficiency, my class (12-4) the other non-maths extension class, 12-3, will be combined since both classes consist of less than 15 people. They said that the new classes in the new building are built for 30 people, and so by combining the 2 classes, maximum efficiency can be attained as teachers will have more time to prepare themselves before teaching us.
And I found out that a teacher who had 24 periods (1 period= 40minutes) to teach us will now only have 18 hrs to spend with the Yr 12. The rest of their free periods are to be spent teaching the new Yr 10. WHAT THE HELL? What happened to the teachers being given more periods to prepare the materials to be taught in the merged classes??
After we come back to school a month from now, we will only be a month away from our HSC trials. They agreed that the current 12-3 and 12-4 are not effective in preparing for the trials because our classes are half empty and we dont respect the teachers. So they said that they prayed and decided that by joining both classes, we will be able to absorb the materials better.
And how are they expect us to do this? If both classes are trouble makers indeed, by combining us, the only thing that they will combine is the troubles. If now teachers complaint that the learning process is ineffective now, how can they possibly think that it would improve once we are combined?? Are they that dumb?
The school officially told us that we're indeed being combined yesterday, on the last day of school. And we confronted them, we complained, we protested, we debated. By the end of the day, all they can say that they have prayed and discussed this issue before, and this is by any means the best solution to this matter,which is for us to be combined.
When we asked them why didnt they ask for our opinion before making that decision, they said that some things are better left ou from students hands to simplify it. Bottomline they said that they're doing what think is best for us, which does not necessarily represent our views.
Yesterday also we were given notifications for the parents regarding a rise in our school fees. What we're paying now, in the last 5 months of our school days, is 50% higher than what we paid when we first entered the school.
More payments, with less privilege.
With what we're paying them, cant they allocate it to hire new teachers instead of making up reasons to share what we already have? We are facing the trials, and soon the HSC for christ's sake. And our classes are being merged, so teachers will only have to teach us once instead of twice. Then they said it is only for our own benefit, where teachers can prepare better for the lessons to help us with the upcoming HSC. And behind our backs, our teachers who now have more free time, are told to teach the new Yr 10.
Are they willing to put efficiency above effectiveness? What they consider efficient in the first place are not effective for the teachers to fully concentrate on the class and pass on the knowledhe.
That fcking school is smart. They gain more without considering the ethical issues. Fck them, we're not paying. The hell with their cash flow to build the other wing of the school.
I dont hate it because of the assignments that we are given, the assessments, or any attempt they made to make our lives harder for the sake of education. I hate that fcking school because they're so fcking stingy and they made decisions based on what they think is best for us withput even consulting us about it.
Clearly what we pay per month does not by any means reflect what we deserve.
We're moving to the new building right after we re-entered the school from this June holiday, and the school allegedly say that for the sake of efficiency, my class (12-4) the other non-maths extension class, 12-3, will be combined since both classes consist of less than 15 people. They said that the new classes in the new building are built for 30 people, and so by combining the 2 classes, maximum efficiency can be attained as teachers will have more time to prepare themselves before teaching us.
And I found out that a teacher who had 24 periods (1 period= 40minutes) to teach us will now only have 18 hrs to spend with the Yr 12. The rest of their free periods are to be spent teaching the new Yr 10. WHAT THE HELL? What happened to the teachers being given more periods to prepare the materials to be taught in the merged classes??
After we come back to school a month from now, we will only be a month away from our HSC trials. They agreed that the current 12-3 and 12-4 are not effective in preparing for the trials because our classes are half empty and we dont respect the teachers. So they said that they prayed and decided that by joining both classes, we will be able to absorb the materials better.
And how are they expect us to do this? If both classes are trouble makers indeed, by combining us, the only thing that they will combine is the troubles. If now teachers complaint that the learning process is ineffective now, how can they possibly think that it would improve once we are combined?? Are they that dumb?
The school officially told us that we're indeed being combined yesterday, on the last day of school. And we confronted them, we complained, we protested, we debated. By the end of the day, all they can say that they have prayed and discussed this issue before, and this is by any means the best solution to this matter,which is for us to be combined.
When we asked them why didnt they ask for our opinion before making that decision, they said that some things are better left ou from students hands to simplify it. Bottomline they said that they're doing what think is best for us, which does not necessarily represent our views.
Yesterday also we were given notifications for the parents regarding a rise in our school fees. What we're paying now, in the last 5 months of our school days, is 50% higher than what we paid when we first entered the school.
More payments, with less privilege.
With what we're paying them, cant they allocate it to hire new teachers instead of making up reasons to share what we already have? We are facing the trials, and soon the HSC for christ's sake. And our classes are being merged, so teachers will only have to teach us once instead of twice. Then they said it is only for our own benefit, where teachers can prepare better for the lessons to help us with the upcoming HSC. And behind our backs, our teachers who now have more free time, are told to teach the new Yr 10.
Are they willing to put efficiency above effectiveness? What they consider efficient in the first place are not effective for the teachers to fully concentrate on the class and pass on the knowledhe.
That fcking school is smart. They gain more without considering the ethical issues. Fck them, we're not paying. The hell with their cash flow to build the other wing of the school.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Compare compare
I'm having Maths assessment tomorrow. Worth 30% of my entire high school HSC report card, and I have to attend this family dinner prior to my cousin's 1 night stay in my house. It's 20:30 now, and all I learnt was how to sketch a curve. Frankly I dont know when I'll be back from this dinner.
What annoyed was the fact that my aunt kept on boasting about the smartness of her daughter. She earned almost perfect scores in all of her subjects, Maths, Chemistry, Physics, Biology, Computer, even a 100 for her English. And this was done repeatedly, to prevent me from forgetting. I'm being scrutinized, everything I'm doing now in highschool, to every last detail of it.
Now I feel like an idiot.
What annoyed was the fact that my aunt kept on boasting about the smartness of her daughter. She earned almost perfect scores in all of her subjects, Maths, Chemistry, Physics, Biology, Computer, even a 100 for her English. And this was done repeatedly, to prevent me from forgetting. I'm being scrutinized, everything I'm doing now in highschool, to every last detail of it.
Now I feel like an idiot.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Counterparts
They say everything is made in pairs.
Yin and Yang.
Night and day.
Sun and moon.
Good and bad.
Female and male.
Heaven and hell.
If it is so, what, or who's the partner for time? Or is it simply a lone ranger?
Yin and Yang.
Night and day.
Sun and moon.
Good and bad.
Female and male.
Heaven and hell.
If it is so, what, or who's the partner for time? Or is it simply a lone ranger?
Monday, June 11, 2007
Friend, ex.
I thought you were one of those who are real. And soon I realized that even you're changing.
You said Im this. To him. He told me. I said that you're that. To him. He told you.
I miss the late night calls. Mandarin movie reviews. Hours of hillarious ignorance. Your pat on my back.
Sometimes I wish that we would step on the brake. So we wont drive away that far.
Maybe I demand to much. Or maybe time steps in and change everything.
Whatever it is, I miss you.
Just now I recalled the last night you're being you. On my birthday. When what you're saying goes deep. Right before I blew the candle that you held in your hand:
Dang.
Or is it me thats changing?
You said Im this. To him. He told me. I said that you're that. To him. He told you.
And we're changing.
I miss the late night calls. Mandarin movie reviews. Hours of hillarious ignorance. Your pat on my back.
Sometimes I wish that we would step on the brake. So we wont drive away that far.
Maybe I demand to much. Or maybe time steps in and change everything.
Whatever it is, I miss you.
Just now I recalled the last night you're being you. On my birthday. When what you're saying goes deep. Right before I blew the candle that you held in your hand:
"You said that its me who colored your life, but it's you who colored mine. But please bear in mind, that the colors arent always bright."
Dang.
Friday, June 08, 2007
AND
This morning right after devotion, I walked back to my homeroom class to grab my bags for my moving classes. And there was written:
English Assessment: Item #7 - composure - of the judging criteria has been cancelled. This will not affect your overall score.
*cheering*
English Assessment: Item #7 - composure - of the judging criteria has been cancelled. This will not affect your overall score.
*cheering*
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Sympathy Mark
We had a 'different' English Assessment today, where we are required to compose a humorous fairytale out of nowhere, and read it aloud infront of the class, with a written explanation of the humorous fairytale features that we used in the story. We were given 4-6 minutes, but almost everyone exceeded that time limit.
Prior to last week's Mission Trip, we were only given approximately 4 days to complete everything before read it infront of the class this morning. I finished my fairytale last Sunday, and spent Monday to Wednesday writing the narrative elements of my fairytale. Then I practised reading it infront of the mirror the whole day yesterday after school, like what my teacher suggested us to do, and went to bed exhausted.
And I thought I've done a pretty good job preparing for it.
But today everything went down the drain.
I laughed the whole time I presented my fairytale. By the end of my 6 minutes, my legs were gelatinized (I'm not sure that this word even exist. But this is a perfect term for my suddenly-wobbly legs) and tears seeped from the corners of my eyes from too much laughing. How can one not laugh when one sees the looks of the rest of the class? A student made riducolous faces throughout the lesson, and I happen to be standing infront, trying to deliver my fairytale.
Another thing was, I didnt realize my fairytale was that funny. So I wasnt prepared for the extreme laughter of the class, and I failed to guard my coolness and I laughed the hell out of myself as well. I would look like some kind of a lunatic gesturing a fairytale while laughing. How can teachers keep their coolness when they saw I saw?
Ironically, I knew that my mark will be dissapointing, and yet I couldnt stop laughing.
Then during Lunch Time, my English teacher accosted me, asking me honestly if someone distracted me during my presentation. And honestly I said yes. And he said that he will take that factor into account when marking my presentation. I was given pardon through what I call sympathy mark.
Then I thought again and again, that I dont think it's fair to me to get it. Because I know that I wasnt the only 1 that felt distracted by the audience, everybody does. So after the bell rang, and we're about to go home, my English teacher again went pass me. So I told him that I dont think he needs to take the distraction into account.
I know that this will make my marks lower, even below the expectation, but it's the fair thing to do.
At least I've done my best. And had a blast talking infront.
Eventhough it's really hard to take the fact that my hard work didnt earn me what I expected.
Prior to last week's Mission Trip, we were only given approximately 4 days to complete everything before read it infront of the class this morning. I finished my fairytale last Sunday, and spent Monday to Wednesday writing the narrative elements of my fairytale. Then I practised reading it infront of the mirror the whole day yesterday after school, like what my teacher suggested us to do, and went to bed exhausted.
And I thought I've done a pretty good job preparing for it.
But today everything went down the drain.
I laughed the whole time I presented my fairytale. By the end of my 6 minutes, my legs were gelatinized (I'm not sure that this word even exist. But this is a perfect term for my suddenly-wobbly legs) and tears seeped from the corners of my eyes from too much laughing. How can one not laugh when one sees the looks of the rest of the class? A student made riducolous faces throughout the lesson, and I happen to be standing infront, trying to deliver my fairytale.
Another thing was, I didnt realize my fairytale was that funny. So I wasnt prepared for the extreme laughter of the class, and I failed to guard my coolness and I laughed the hell out of myself as well. I would look like some kind of a lunatic gesturing a fairytale while laughing. How can teachers keep their coolness when they saw I saw?
Ironically, I knew that my mark will be dissapointing, and yet I couldnt stop laughing.
Then during Lunch Time, my English teacher accosted me, asking me honestly if someone distracted me during my presentation. And honestly I said yes. And he said that he will take that factor into account when marking my presentation. I was given pardon through what I call sympathy mark.
Then I thought again and again, that I dont think it's fair to me to get it. Because I know that I wasnt the only 1 that felt distracted by the audience, everybody does. So after the bell rang, and we're about to go home, my English teacher again went pass me. So I told him that I dont think he needs to take the distraction into account.
I know that this will make my marks lower, even below the expectation, but it's the fair thing to do.
At least I've done my best. And had a blast talking infront.
Eventhough it's really hard to take the fact that my hard work didnt earn me what I expected.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Collages of Pictures
I forgot to bring my own camera for the Mission Trip, so I've been scraping my friends' photo inboxes for pictureque moments. After I 'stole' the images (with permission, of course!), I touched it up a bit and put it here for further reference when I'm older and presumably have forgotten what I did in the Mission Trip. Photographs taken by Chrispian.
To be able to serve is a gift. Picture of the class 12-4 posing along with the orphanage kids after a whole day of games and bonfire and making fun of each other and endless laughter and gifts from stupid games.
The bonfire with the orphanage children!
To be able to serve is a gift. Picture of the class 12-4 posing along with the orphanage kids after a whole day of games and bonfire and making fun of each other and endless laughter and gifts from stupid games.
The bonfire with the orphanage children!
Endless formal pictures per class organized by the school for future requirements
Will post some more after I found them :)
Sunday, June 03, 2007
My Live In House
This is a video of my live in house during the Mission Trip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Twxcq3sng
Video taken by my housemate, Au deelia.
P.S the background song came from our holistic neighbor who play loud music the whole day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Twxcq3sng
Video taken by my housemate, Au deelia.
P.S the background song came from our holistic neighbor who play loud music the whole day.
Friday, June 01, 2007
HOME SWEET HOME
Finally, Im home!
Believe it or not, I stayed in an actual village there, namely 'Kempeng Village'. It's a 5 mins drive from the orphanage and old's home in the White Cross village below, and I was 1 of the some unfortunates which got a real village house to live in.
A funny thing happened when we first arrived. After some time chatting, we were told to take a bath, and to my surprise, my live in parents cooked hot water for us to bathe, quite the contrary to what everybody has been saying: you'll suffer from the extremely cold water for bath.
At first I thought our house was OK, up until I had a chance to see the bathroom. It was pitch dark black. The floor and the water tub was made of cement, which made it even darker. The only light came from a puny light bulb, dying and casted a very weak yellowish light. Then I saw something moving infront of the door. White, and black.
It was a cow.
A real, live cow.
Big live cow. Moo-ing us.
Finally we took a bath at the neighbor's house, which is still located at my houseparent's land (so they say). The next day, and the day after that we sneaked to our teacher's live in house to use the bathroom, either for brushing our teeth or taking a bath. With cold water.
Unwilling to extend my suffering, I quickly showered my whole body with the cold water. IT WAS COLD. Holding back the spontaneous impulse to scream out loud, I jumped and I jumped until the coldness ease, then another cold water came again, leaving me jumping and hopping over and over again until Im adequately clean.
However, I admit that I feel really fresh after the bath, compared to the usual hot bath here.
The people was very nice at us. Everyone smiled as we said "Monggo, Pak/Bu" at them, showing their teeth and asking how we've been coping there. Especially my houseparents. Apparently they werent that well off compared to other villagers there (most of my friends got a villa for God's sake). And they kept on saying how their house is shabby. But a Jakarta-n police officer had entrusted them to guard their villa further above their shabby house, and they insisted that we go with them to see the view there. They were extremely happy when we agreed to go up and see it on our last night there, and waited up until we showed up after the farewell bonfire at the orphanage.
And the view was worth the trouble. The feeling was awesome, the air cold, the wind breezing oh so lightly on our skin, and they were exhilirated when we exlaimed the excitement and how beautiful the view is. My heart sunk when I saw stars on their eyes when they slowly joked how their own house is very small and dirty compared to this villa.
During a preach from a local priest, we were told that each family got approximately IDR 100 thousands per month. That's IDR 3,300 per day. For the whole family. Now a box of rice and chicken meat in our school costs IDR 8,000. That explains a lot. They said that they were vegetarians, and were always very apologetic whenever we had our meal of fried tofu and vegetables. On our last meal with them, they cooked us some small fishes to bade us goodbye.
We left them a parcel from the school, and an envelope of money accumulated from the Charity Sale and our (me and my housemate's) own pocket money.
Another problem: Our train was scheduled on 9:00 PM, to arrive at 6:00 AM this morning. That means we have to sleep in the train, which was OK I suppose. But the train was freezing. Up until 2:00 AM, we were all bundled in a blanket, with our teeth shattering and our fingers shaking. It was excruciating. When we asked the crew to kindly turn up the air con, they refused, saying that they dont know how to do it. Finally a student refused to enter the compartment, declaring that it's too cold, by then they agreed to turn off 1 of the air con. Then we slept for 2 hours, until it was too hot to sleep then we got ready to depart.
The strange thing was even now when Im all comfy infront of my computer, eating apples and listening to mp3, something seemed wrong. A piece of my heart seemed hollow. I think I missed Kempeng Village.
Believe it or not, I stayed in an actual village there, namely 'Kempeng Village'. It's a 5 mins drive from the orphanage and old's home in the White Cross village below, and I was 1 of the some unfortunates which got a real village house to live in.
A funny thing happened when we first arrived. After some time chatting, we were told to take a bath, and to my surprise, my live in parents cooked hot water for us to bathe, quite the contrary to what everybody has been saying: you'll suffer from the extremely cold water for bath.
At first I thought our house was OK, up until I had a chance to see the bathroom. It was pitch dark black. The floor and the water tub was made of cement, which made it even darker. The only light came from a puny light bulb, dying and casted a very weak yellowish light. Then I saw something moving infront of the door. White, and black.
It was a cow.
A real, live cow.
Big live cow. Moo-ing us.
Finally we took a bath at the neighbor's house, which is still located at my houseparent's land (so they say). The next day, and the day after that we sneaked to our teacher's live in house to use the bathroom, either for brushing our teeth or taking a bath. With cold water.
Unwilling to extend my suffering, I quickly showered my whole body with the cold water. IT WAS COLD. Holding back the spontaneous impulse to scream out loud, I jumped and I jumped until the coldness ease, then another cold water came again, leaving me jumping and hopping over and over again until Im adequately clean.
However, I admit that I feel really fresh after the bath, compared to the usual hot bath here.
The people was very nice at us. Everyone smiled as we said "Monggo, Pak/Bu" at them, showing their teeth and asking how we've been coping there. Especially my houseparents. Apparently they werent that well off compared to other villagers there (most of my friends got a villa for God's sake). And they kept on saying how their house is shabby. But a Jakarta-n police officer had entrusted them to guard their villa further above their shabby house, and they insisted that we go with them to see the view there. They were extremely happy when we agreed to go up and see it on our last night there, and waited up until we showed up after the farewell bonfire at the orphanage.
And the view was worth the trouble. The feeling was awesome, the air cold, the wind breezing oh so lightly on our skin, and they were exhilirated when we exlaimed the excitement and how beautiful the view is. My heart sunk when I saw stars on their eyes when they slowly joked how their own house is very small and dirty compared to this villa.
During a preach from a local priest, we were told that each family got approximately IDR 100 thousands per month. That's IDR 3,300 per day. For the whole family. Now a box of rice and chicken meat in our school costs IDR 8,000. That explains a lot. They said that they were vegetarians, and were always very apologetic whenever we had our meal of fried tofu and vegetables. On our last meal with them, they cooked us some small fishes to bade us goodbye.
We left them a parcel from the school, and an envelope of money accumulated from the Charity Sale and our (me and my housemate's) own pocket money.
Another problem: Our train was scheduled on 9:00 PM, to arrive at 6:00 AM this morning. That means we have to sleep in the train, which was OK I suppose. But the train was freezing. Up until 2:00 AM, we were all bundled in a blanket, with our teeth shattering and our fingers shaking. It was excruciating. When we asked the crew to kindly turn up the air con, they refused, saying that they dont know how to do it. Finally a student refused to enter the compartment, declaring that it's too cold, by then they agreed to turn off 1 of the air con. Then we slept for 2 hours, until it was too hot to sleep then we got ready to depart.
The strange thing was even now when Im all comfy infront of my computer, eating apples and listening to mp3, something seemed wrong. A piece of my heart seemed hollow. I think I missed Kempeng Village.